As Good As Dead, by Holly Jackson, is a downward spiral, a HEFTY psychological smorgasbord of deception and murder, and the story ends like a deranged coyote splat to bits on a congested motorway after the rains.

But it rains.

Between 50—65% I’d written this off as a poorly terminated 3-star mediocre finale that toyed with improperly counselled mental illness, mocked the importance of sleep and adequately prescribed medicines—both which help combat impulses and responses in gun-violence victims and rape survivors—and I was hoping for redemption in some nice YA-novel sort of way…

…and then I read the rest and changed my mind.

I admit, there is a large chunk in the centre that causes severe eye-rolling, a few cringes (especially in the apparent disrespectful/derisive treatment of mental illness…but wait for it…), and produces the urge to smack Pip hard to her senses. It’s off-putting for many many pages. It tempts the reader to quit for quite a quare chunk. I say: read on, let the story happen, let it roll, let it drag you down, down, down…

It might seem like you have it all figured out (as was the intention of the author in delivering that simplistic red-herring with the DT suspect—obviously), but by the end, this story surprises. I get the feeling not too many cosy murder mystery readers or YA crime-to-romance lovers fancied the turn this took. But murder is not cosy and romance is not love. This murder-mystery love-story gets dark, bloody, twisted, goes completely criminal, and explores the deepest devotion of all kinds of love. If you’re looking for a loose-ends-tied finish with a satisfying sigh and the relief of a win-win in a last page kiss— well… look away.

I thought it was kinda brilliant and all cheeky; a whiplash turn from the expected (boring) norm in the genre, a complete bottom-dropped-out descent to the mouth-puckering finish.

Oh, how people change…the cataract progression of these characters was disgusting. Delightful. The inner workings of Pip’s damaged psyche was—well, at times, it was almost too much to take: a bit too much schizophrenic drama and a try too poetic and literary in such fast-paced thriller-style writing (hence the 4-stars, not 5)—but overall, it was a decent imitation of what the crack of trauma does to a mind, coupled with the rapid descent into keeping multiple secrets and juggling one more lie. Such mental distress internally destroys while it externally deteriorates. Piece by piece, Pip’s sanity and dreams become sacrificed to the upkeep of the insane nightmarish path she chooses.

The girl’s good conscience jumps off a cliff in instalment number three, a gory, blood-bath, free-for-all MESS. The ‘good girl’ wilfully derails herself in a split-second decision; she chooses one kind of justice over another. And I wonder, with a similar history and trauma, how many ‘good’ girls would choose to do the same, given the opportunity…? Pip’s climactic decision splits the plot (and the philosophical direction of this trilogy) into an investigation of two trains travelling the same track: the exposé of a failing system of justice and the rogue pursuit of ‘true’ justice at the expense of several truths people in polite and comfortable positions of power don’t want to hear.

Additionally, Pip has to choose who she can trust, and when you’re that broken, the answer is easy. As a very young adult (still a teenager) coping ineptly with her deteriorating mental health, Pip shows immaturity and naivety in the new connections she forges, and bull-headedness in most of her decisions. Though she sets out to solve mysteries and propagate the truth at the start, it all becomes very quickly relative…and eventually leads to asking the question I believe the novel wants to provoke: What Is Real Justice? and all the related questions that stem from this question in the face of gender and racial inequity, class/caste privilege, social position, systemic failures, and so on…

I’d love to see a 'Twenty Years Later' edition of this trilogy, a follow-up novel that revisits relationships and the ‘truth’ about everything that went on in this small town over this strange period of seven years…maybe done in the style of a mature investigative and unbiased reporter…

1. Why is this sold in North America as a 'North American' version? People across The Pond can understand 'ringing a friend' and 'pulling the parking brake' on a car as well as any Brit. I'm sure. They can imagine the village of Whatevertown, England as well as a small town in the state of Connecticut. The 'North Americanisation' (to make it simple??) seemed unnecessary (yes, I accidentally got my hands on a US-version of this craic).

2. American Narrators. No please.

...So, I listened to the audiobook. It would have sounded a lot better in the original British English. I wish publishers didn't interfere for the sake of coddling. Imagine Harry Potter sounding like Huck Finn; or Scout Finch barking up a tree with the intonation of Lucy Pevensie? No. Pointless. Ugh. Put it back.

3. Pip's deterioration dragged out far too long in the centre of the book. We could have done with 100 pages less, and would have, if we didn't have to hear how many times she mistook sweat for blood, door-knocks for gunshots, and heard her bones crying... it was a bit over-the-top, even for sympathetic readers who could relate to her downfall.