Massive content warnings for self-harm; rape; mental, emotional, physical, sexual abuse; medical abuse; drug and alcohol abuse.

2.5 stars

I think having read three of four of Gillian Flynn's published works (The Grown Up is the only thing from her I have left to read) I think I can safely say that she writes really fucked up books. If that sort of language bothers you, you should probably skip this book, because f-bombs are the tip of the iceberg in this story.

Now, I don't necessarily mean fucked up in a bad way. She obviously has a vivid well of creativity in constructing these twisted plots and characters and I appreciate that. But I also think that the execution of these ideas can sometimes be a little underwhelming.

My biggest problem with this book is that I wasn't actually surprised by any of the twists. It seemed obvious to me that Amma was responsible for the deaths (although Adora could've been as well. Neither one would have been surprising) and that Adora was hurting her children in order to get attention for herself (I literally said 'this lady has Munchhausen's by proxy' after the first time Amma was 'sick' and being babied by Adora.) While it is disturbing that women like this actually exist, and the content is shocking in and of itself, the reveal that Adora was one of these women was incredibly anti-climactic.

I also feel like this author sometimes writes about shocking things just to get a reaction, and not because it actually serves any purpose to the characters, their motivations, or the plot. Like, I get that Camille had a messed up childhood and acted out using sex and self harm to cope, but at a certain point it become gratuitous. The gang rape that she was subjected to as a 13-year old child is brought up several times throughout the book. The first time, it is shocking and made me feel sick. The subsequent times, I started to wonder why we were being told about the same event again when it seemed obvious that it wasn't going to have any bearing on the story and also that Camille herself didn't seem to view it as anything noteworthy. It wasn't like it was some big secret. She thinks about it in passing like someone would remember a random innocuous fact from their childhood.

As a character, Camille was very difficult to get a read on. I don't expect likable protagonists in thrillers, and especially not in thrillers by this particular author. More often than not, every person in her books is just awful. But Camille was so incredibly self-destructive that it was difficult to not feel the urge to shake her.

I also felt like the ending of the book was rushed. Adora is arrested for the killings and it feels like 5 pages later (I was listening to the audiobook so I'm not sure how many pages it actually was) it's revealed that 'Just kidding! It was actually the creepy, manipulative, bullying young woman who viciously murdered two members of her clique! Who would have ever thought?!' The reveal about the teeth and the hair was, yes, creepy and macabre, but it's tacked on and not given any time to breathe.

I originally wanted to read this book because I wanted to watch the miniseries but read the source material before going in. After reading the book, I'm not sure I want to watch the series. Not because it isn't a good story, but there is no lightness whatsoever here, and I'm not sure I need to consume this story again, at least not any time soon.