I had mixed feelings on this book and was mostly torn between 3 and 4 stars. Overall went with four because there were some lines at the end I thought were really powerful and that pushed it over the edge for me.

First of all, I think the story structure was a bit tired. We start the story during the aftermath of Jack's death and switch between the past (how we got here) and the present (Remy talking to the police). I've read a fair number of thrillers and I don't hate that setup, but it is one that feels a bit overdone to me. It didn't feel like that book was doing anything new or different with it. I think the saving grace was that this was more of a contemporary than a mystery/thriller, so it didn't matter quite as much. It was about character growth rather than plot twists or thrills, so it didn't matter that the ending was predictable. I could see exactly where the story was going, but I really enjoyed the journey getting there.

I had mixed feelings on Lyu's writing style. Most of the time it felt overwritten. Writing is an incredible amount of effort, but as a reader I don't want to see that effort. I want it to feel easy. This book never felt easy. It never flowed naturally. It wasn't bad, but it usually didn't work. Which of course implies that sometimes it did. There were a few really powerful lines. For me it wasn't enough to make up for the rest of the book, but I do think a few at the end were why this book got a 4 star rating from me.

My favorite line: "I am not a phoenix rising from its ashes. Fire does not cleanse, only burn. Death isn't rebirth. Jack is never coming back." (Page 324)

The dialogue didn't work for me at all. Similarly to the writing overall, I could see the effort in the writing of the dialogue. It all felt too perfect, and not real or natural. When people speak, especially when they're emotional or arguing, it's messy. It's not always going to be the right thing. But in here, it all seemed too perfectly constructed and as a result fake.

Final negative note was on the character of Jack. He seemed like a nice guy. Only, since he was probably the third most important character in the book, I feel like I ought to have more thoughts on him than 'seemed like a nice guy.' The book literally opens with his death and he is the catalyst for so much that happens. But I never really cared about him. He just existed to be the catalyst. I think the lack of development for him brought this book down for me a fair amount.

But all that being said, I was invested in this book. I teared up at the end. It was well constructed, even if it's not one that will ever make a favorites list. I really enjoyed the focus on friendship, especially a toxic friendship. It's an interesting theme and while I think it was mostly handled too obviously, I really liked the message this book sent about unhealthy relationships. I'm very glad I did pick this up and read it, even if it's one that I don't think will stay with me particularly long.

Overall, I'd give this a light recommendation. I don't think it was mind blowing, but it's an entertaining read if you enjoy dark contemporaries and toxic friendships in YA. I wouldn't be averse to picking up Sarah Lyu again, but I don't think she's an author I'd go out of my way for after this book.

*hesitantly tagged as mystery, but I do think this book is more of a contemporary with some mystery elements*