Honestly I'm mad this book was so bad, because I think somewhere in here is a kernel of a book I could really love about a Vegas magician with ~*actual magickal powers*~ who is friends with Carrot Top.

But uhhh this is not a book that I could love. Nor is it YA (despite its brief, sketchy appearance on the NYT YA bestseller list).

For much more detail:

http://www.frowl.org/worstbestsellers/episode-83-handbook-for-mortals/