I've sat with this one for a while, & in all honesty I'm still not quite sure how to "review" this - this was so raw, real, & personal, easily the best memoir I've ever read, but I want to be sure I'm as sensitive with this subject matter as I can be.

I really admire Carmen Maria Machado for her bravery in sharing her story with the world. I've never seen queer domestic abuse examined through this lens - Machado recounts her experiences utilizing popular narrative tropes in each chapter (erotica, the haunted house, & the possession story, etc.), as well as uses examples found within queer art, literature, history, & pop culture to help paint a picture of her time with her ex-girlfriend in the "dream house". The way Machado told her story was so unique & I came away learning a ton (for example, I never knew the origins of the word "gaslight") - I really loved this, as strange as that may seem to say about a book dealing with abuse; however, there's a lot of beauty & self-healing to be found within the pain here, showing us &, most importantly, other survivors that there can be some light at the end of the tunnel. I highly, highly recommend this but please proceed with caution if this subject matter is triggering in any way.

One section has really sat with me, a discussion about the representation of queer villains - this quote, in particular: We deserve to have our wrongdoing represented as much as our heroism, because when we refuse wrongdoing as a possibility for a group of people, we refuse their humanity. That is to say queers - real-life ones - do not deserve representation, protection, & rights because they are morally pure or upright as a people. They deserve these things because they are human beings, & that is enough.