Is it possible to love a book that is both beautiful and awful at the same time? Because I truly did love this book. I finished it a week ago and I can still remember how it made me feel and I haven't let it go.

But yet, this story was so heartbreaking and there are scenes that are some of the most graphic and horrible that I have ever read. It's one of the only books that has made me actually, viscerally feel ill.

All of this book's characters are real and excellent, but Jude. Wow. He is amazing and sad and beautiful and all I wanted to do was give him a hug throughout the entire novel. That's over 800 pages of wanting to wrap my arms around someone who isn't even real!

I listened to this book on audio for parts and I read the physical book. I believe this helped me move along and keep my pace, since it is quite a lengthy read. The audiobook was excellent too and I'd recommend it as well.

This book showcases friendship and loyalty at it's truest.
There are trigger and content warnings abound for this book. So go into it only if you can. But I promise that if you can stomach it and appreciate the story, you will fall for Jude and this book will be worth the read.