This is a very difficult book to review. Almost as difficult as it was to read. I've been reading more non-fiction in the past couple of years, and I've found that I enjoy memoirs that detail unorthodox living environments/situations. The Glass Castle is one I read in 2019 and really hooked me, and this definitely has some similarities to that one. Both families live alternative lifestyles in which authority is seen as an annoyance at the very best, and an evil empire at the worst. In both stories, the children seem to be more mature than the adults, and the adults seem to be more interested in their own selfish whims and ideologies than providing a safe and secure upbringing for the people they chose to bring into the world.
This book was such a tough thing to read. As someone who grew up in a village in Alaska, I knew people who were into the idea of living off the land and off the grid. There are so many people who move to Alaska from the Lower 48 because they think it'll be a way for them to eschew authority and make their own way. As unbelievable as so many of the situations and personalities in this book seemed, I never once questioned the veracity of the author's claims, because I've known people who have acted similarly. Doesn't make it easier to read.

There are so many trigger warnings in this book. Where do I begin? Rape, sexual assault, grooming, molestation, extensive drug and alcohol abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, abandonment. The list goes on and on. Please, if you're at all sensitive to these topics, take care.

I appreciate the author for telling her story in such a candid way, but there were moments where it felt like she was very disconnected from the events she was relating to the reader. It makes sense, as some of these things were absolutely horrific, but there were moment that felt a little detached. I was so angry at all of the adults in Cea's life who failed her, especially her mother. But then I got to thinking about the cycle of abuse and how her mother was set up to fail by her own parent's lack of involvement or care in her upbringing. There's a moment in the book where one of Cea's relatives (I believe it was her grandfather) tells her that she was never really a part of his family. This was after a time when he told her that he didn't really care what she and her mother had been doing when they were separated from the family for over a year. That lack of concern or care is heartbreaking to read about, and it provided insight for me as far as Cea's mother's ability (or inability) to provide care to Cea.

If I have one real criticism, it's that the last couple sections of the book, after Cea begins her modeling career, felt rushed. We got so much detail about her childhood, which was great. But her adult life was rushed through and I would've liked to see some of those details about her reconciliation with her father and coming to terms with the dysfunctional nature of her childhood. Apparently the author was working on a second memoir that focuses more on her adult life, but that was announced a couple years back and I don't see anything recent about it, so maybe the project was shelved.

I feel like I'm rambling so I'm just going to close this by saying that I appreciate what this book was, and even when my heart was hurting for the young Cea or angry at the people around her, I was utterly fascinated by the story.