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"I find a great affinity with unicorns. They are the ultimate outsiders, destined to gallop alone. They share the body of a horse and are similar in form, but are a different nature, almost able to belong in an equine herd, but utterly conspicuous and irrefutably other.” - Amrou Al-Kadhi.

"And what is acting besides a sublimation of childhood trauma in order to get an agent?" - Amrou Al-Kadhi.
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Many months ago someone recommended this memoir in the comment section and it had been on my mind ever since. Unicorn turned out to be exactly the way the title suggests. Vibrant, majestic and unique. Although I've read memoirs of queer men and of those from the LGBTQ community, what set this apart was the background of the protagonist. Being a Muslim man from an Iraqi heritage, he had to fight harder to come out of the closet. With zero support from his parents, Amrou faced a torrent of emotions throughout his adolescent and adult life. It was only when he donned the role of a drag queen that he finally found peace. It made him complete.
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The book opens with Amrou performing in a drag show filled with fear when he spots a group of burqa clad women sitting in the front row murmuring something inaudible. To his surprise, the women shower him with praises, a gesture so uncommon amidst conservative muslim community. This episode warmed my heart and was such a wonderful thing to read. Being brought up in Bahrain and Dubai, Amrou shared a close bond with his mother who happened to be a glamourous diva but their relationship changes instantly when she realises Amrou's liking towards men. The more he tried to please them, the more he felt trapped. This pushed him to rebel against his parents which lasted throughout his entire teenage years.
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Amrou's life goes through a rollercoaster ride as he goes to Eton, a prestigious British boarding school where he was bullied constantly. His desire to be accepted by his peers made him do things he didn't want to. To top it off, he was at the receiving end of Islamophobia. He was physically and psychologically abused for many years as he was on the lookout for love. It was only when he moved to the university that he discovered drag shows and was instantly comfortable in the makeup and costumes. He led shows and met fellow drag queens who formed a strong bond of trust. His relationship with his parents remained bitter for a long time but I was relieved to read how his mother accepted him in her own way. Amrou's story is as real as it gets. He writes in detail about how his confused filled teenage years triggered his obsessive need to score good marks at school. He sacrificed his sleep and food, pushing himself to the verge of a mental breakdown. Many parts of this memoir were difficult to read. The hate that he received for years and the fact that many young boys/girls like him are still being subjected to such harsh realities is a chilling and hurtful thing to accept.
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Unicorn was a wonderful memoir but I often felt disconnected from the story. It may have to do with the narration because I couldn't stay focused for too long. He adds a touch of humour to ease the discomfort and to probably buff out the edges of sharp incidents. But I do however recommend this memoir to those who are seeking knowledge about what it feels like to be a queer person growing up in a hostile environment and to finally find acceptance within onself. Amrou is undoubtedly a Unicorn and this memoir proves why.
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Rating : 3.9/5.