I think this is the most painful two stars I've ever given a book. I am so conflicted and this has never happened to me. I was so excited about this book because what's not to love based on the synopsis? It sounded like Harry Potter, but for adults. I still love the idea of this book and it has the potential to be absolutely amazing, but I struggled with it so much when reading. This is the first book I've read by Novik, so I don't know if she always writes like this, but I just do not vibe with her writing style.

I'm not a fan of the fact that the majority of the book is El's inner monologue. I never vibe with books that center on someone's ramblings. Since the writing was quite dense, more dialogue would have saved it for me. I felt like sentence structures really messed up the flow of reading for me. The text is information-heavy enough, and then Novik adds a lot of extra side-notes between dashes, which breaks off the flow of thought. It was just very confusing for me at times, I had to read several paragraphs multiple times and was still left with "huh?". I also had a hard time visualising the events and this never happens to me. It's always like a movie in my head when I read, so this threw me off as well.

When it comes to the actual plot, I felt like her explanations of why things were the way they were, were a bit lacking and not convincing enough. I also felt like much of El's whining could have been solved, had she just told people who she was. But she's so stubborn. She is probably the most unlikable character I've read this year, but I also feel like there was sufficient growth in her throughout the book.

Spoiler

I loved seeing her form relationships at the end.

Then again, I was really annoyed by her constant whining. It went from one extreme to the other: I am destined to be bad and nobody loves me to I am better than anyone else and I can wipe this whole school with a flick of my wrist.

I don't know, I felt drained while reading this. Partly because of the severe info dumps, but mostly, I think, because almost nothing happy happens in this book. It's all just one bad thing on top of the other and it made me wonder what the point was in trying to live like this. Just throw yourself to a mal and get it over with.

As for the other characters, they're diverse, but Novik does not go into depth. They're mostly divided up based on the languages they speak. I almost wish there was less diversity and more depth because it feels superficial and just for show, so that nobody can accuse Novik of not enough diversity. I hope the next one goes more in depth of the primary characters.
In terms of cultural sensitivity, there were a few spots that made me wonder if anyone did a sensitivity read on this book because I feel like they should not have been included.

To sum up, I was left confused and disappointed, but since I so desperately want to love this, I will try and reread it towards the end of the year in hopes that it will be more understandable for me then.