“Grief is one big, gaping hole, isn’t it? It’s everywhere and all consuming. Some days you think you can’t go on because the only thing waiting for you is more despair. Some days you don’t want to go on because it’s easier to give up than to get hurt again.”

Stars (Out of 10): 6/10 Stars

Overall Thoughts: I’m not quite sure how to put into words how I feel for this book. It’s not really a book you pick up for enjoyment, but one you pick up to feel something, and to have your perception of the world messed with. It was written beautifully, with words made to tie you into the stories, to feel what these kids felt as their world collapsed around them. It definitely had it’s flaws, which I’ll put down in the other sections, but it was still a great read and I am glad I read it.

The Good: My favorite thing about this story was probably the depth the author was able to give to the characters, especially to the side characters, in 54 minutes of their lives. Additionally, I felt the author’s writing style meshed fantastically with the plot and ideas of this book, and were able to bring both the physical aspect that the book needed, as well as the heavier emotional aspect.

The Bad: Most of my issues with the book came from the characters themselves. Some moments felt weird, or like they didn’t belong, and in others the logic and thinking of the characters made no sense, and resulted in terrible consequences that definitely did not need to happen. Additionally, the main relationship in this book felt wrong, and that never ended up being dealt with. Also, I had a harder time getting attached to the main characters than the side characters, which may have been the fault of the quick flip-flopping POVs, and not truly being able to feel for a character before being moved on to the next POV.

SPOILERS BEGIN HERE

The Characters: I’ll begin with Tyler. Personally, it was hard to see why Claire/Autumn were so believing of him being good, seeing as his recent changes had been quite violent/worrisome. Of course, I understand not wanting to believe a brother/ex is capable of the doing this, but even before they knew/before it happened I saw Claire and Autumn thinking good of him, even though Claire recently saw him assaulting Sylv and Autumn experienced a terrible situation at home, with him often belittling her relationship and even caring less about her as a person. So I feel there could’ve been more improvement in that area, even though Tyler was a fairly interesting “villain” to have. Additionally, my other main problem with the story was Sylv and Autumn’s relationship. It felt like such an unhealthy relationship the entire time, with neither of them being able to be true to each other, and their tough family situations making it impossible for them to be honest with each other about the hardships they were facing, and being honest about the future they wanted. It also often felt one-sided, until perhaps the end where Autumn almost lost Sylv, with Sylv wanting Autumn to be happy and wanting a future with her, and Autumn only wanting to dance/leave, not usually thinking about/mentioning Sylv in that future. I do hope the ending was meant to be taken that they would begin to work these things out, but I had a hard time being fully happy with the relationship the pair had before and during the events of the book. However, I did like many of the characters in the book, specifically the side characters. I felt seeing the little snapshots into other student’s lives made it easier to understand how all encompassing the grief and horror was, with everyone who had ever associated with the school being affected. We saw someone who stayed behind today lose his chance to ever admit his feelings to his friend he lost in the shooting. We saw multiple characters lose siblings, and we saw a graduated student lose her father, a well-loved teacher. We also got to see the aftermath of it all, the rush of people trying to find each other, and the need to move on yet keep this story in their hearts, and to learn from it.

The Plot: The physical plot was extremely straightforward, but it did change things up with all the flashbacks. For the most part, those were pretty well done, with clear distinction between current events and a flashback by using italics. Without those flashbacks, it probably would’ve been even tougher feeling for the characters on a personal level, so I felt they were quite integral to the story. However, I have some issues with the decisions the characters made at points. Why did Tomas randomly think that during a shooting was the best time to start thinking about his crush/kinda try and ask her out? (It didn’t even add anything to the plot, was more just kinda thrown in there). Why did Tomas/Sylv/Fareed head towards the roof instead of heading out with the rest of the students so they would be safe?

The Favorite Character: Matt 3

This review, and others, can also be found on my blog: https://paragraphsandpages.wordpress.com/