CW: sexual assault, transmisia, outing, attempted suicide, assault

Let’s start with a disclaimer. This book is about a trans girl, written by a trans woman, and I’m cis. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

I finally read this! It’s the most recommended trans story I’ve seen, and it’s been on my tbr for a couple of years now.

I’ve read very few books starring trans characters; if I thought about it, I could probably count them on one hand. I’m not sure how many, if any, are by trans authors. I liked the discussions in this novel, and if you can handle the content I’d recommend reading it. It’s undeniably important.

As for my own enjoyment, I liked this to a certain extent. Amanda was a well-rounded protagonist with a distinctive voice. I liked her parents’ character arc, and her supportive group of girl friends. However, Anna, Layla, and Chloe kind of ran together; a friend’s review called them “the religious one, the gay one, and the other one,” and though it slightly pains me to admit it, they’re right. I loved how accepting they were and the way they instantaneously drew Amanda into their circle, but on their own they were weak. Bee was a genuinely good friend and Grant was a super sweet boyfriend. Both of them had secrets and didn’t fit any mold.

This is a novel that’s simultaneously dark and hopeful, and I think it’s written well. It talks about the challenging parts of Amanda’s transition and how other people handled it, her suicide attempt, and her recovery.

“I deserved to live. I deserved to find love. I knew now—I believed, now—that I deserved to be loved.”

I’m not a Star Wars fan, but I liked seeing the references throughout. I know the extreme basics because my mom and sister are big fans. I think it added an extra element to the story, and made it a bit more fun and lighthearted at times. I liked the Halloween party and the homecoming proposal.

What lowered this book’s rating for me was the homecoming scene and its aftermath. AMandan was outed, and unfortunately I saw it coming. I don’t like that it happened or that it was used as a plot twist. I can sort of see why it was written that way, to further Amanda’s character development in the long run, but I didn’t like it. What happened after was nothing short of a hot mess. While it was a good book regardless, I feel that these events took it down a notch or seven.

I liked that the ending was open. Usually that bothers me, but I think this was done really well, and it still managed to satisfy me. As long as Amanda never interacts with three specific characters again, I’ll be good.

This was an enjoyable novel, and an important one to read. I liked most aspects, but couldn’t look past others. I might check out what Meredith publishes in the future.