controversial: they should’ve stayed friends. i’m so sad because i really, really wanted to like this one because usually slowburn friends to lovers works for me but this one didn’t.

this takes place about 13 years after they met in law school and has flashback scenes sprinkled in throughout.

in their first year of law school at oxford, 19-year-old charlotte (an openly out lesbian) meets 19-year-old millie (who considered herself straight until her 30s in present day). the two quickly became best friends and each others confidants in law school. over the years at law school, charlotte fell helplessly in love with her best friend and that eventually led to their falling out shortly after graduation. charlotte literally ghosted millie because millie didn’t love her back... *side eye*

charlotte never really moved on—sure, she dated around but she more often than not, letting opportunities go because she was hung up on her former best friend. then when she’s finally ready to start doing proactive things for her career and personal life and move on, millie comes back after 10 years and they’re both screwed...

millie’s bi awakening was ... meh to read. i would have liked to see more—she had a mini freakout but then just was like ‘well, alright’ and moved along. her feelings towards charlotte really seemed to come out of nowhere—one day she was madly horny for charlotte (like a dog in heat—it was quite explicitly horny thoughts in her head) then the next week she realized she was in love... personally i would’ve liked to actually read the emotions that led to those feelings. i did like how nonchalant millie’s own mother was about finding her daughter in bed with a woman. (charlotte’s mother sucked 99.9% of the time)

i didn’t like how millie was written. just because millie was comfortable in her curvy body and with sex, she was constantly objectified (and disparaged / slut shamed) in such a nasty way that made me deeply pissed off and uncomfortable. the amount of times her boobs were said to be big, round and perfect, and was nonstop alluded, or mentioned, by too many people... ick. she was constantly lusted over while and also being called fat. ugh.

i honestly don’t understand how charlotte and millie (and olivia) tolerated each other for so long. they were all so shitty to each other throughout the years—millie was saying lesbian slurs, charlotte slut shamed millie numerous times, and olivia was being biphobic as fuck sometimes... the entitlement left me speechless at times.

i don’t understand why i don’t hate the characters despite all these conflicting emotions i had while reading this book. i side eyed them, and really didn’t like how they all treated each other, but i also liked them and found them charming and amusing. do note that there were some cute moments sprinkled out throughout the book, but it doesn’t help cover up that this was still a mess.