I’m confused and a little letdown. I also feel bad for hyping this up like crazy and getting people so excited to read it. There were good parts, don’t get me wrong, but overall, I feel like it could have been done a lot better.

3/5 stars

I read a few reviews before writing this and there were a lot of good insights and points, especially because my thoughts are all over the place and I don’t quite understand how I feel about this book.

The premise itself was interesting. Blood magic, but on a whole other level. Monsters that you would only see in nightmares. A war that has torn two countries apart. And this whole battle of theologies and beliefs. The world itself was so rich in history and religion, and I find that rare in YA. I really enjoyed the little snippets of different saints at the start of each chapter. And I liked seeing Nadya struggle between doing what the gods wanted her to do vs. doing what she thought was right/what she wanted.

Serefin, as you guys may already know, immediately became a favourite 20 pages into this book the second he decided he needed to get drunk after attacking the monastery where Nadya lived. I love him with all my heart. He is a sarcastic, self-deprecating, tired boy, who honestly just wants the war to be over, but then has to deal with a bunch of crazy shit that his father has decided to do in his absence. Despite the fact that he doesn’t believe in the gods (because he doesn’t see any point really), I felt that his character was the most consistent out of the two main characters. I loved his relationship with Kacper and Ostyia. Honestly, Serefin resting his head on Kacper was just too much for my soul. I need relationships like that where two friends aren’t afraid to show affection towards each other. Ostyia and Serefin’s relationship was also just as great. Ostyia is also amazing in all her one-eyed glory.

(My Serefin/Aldon/Caelum fanfic though…I am living for it. I actually like what I’m writing and I’m not afraid to admit it lol. This is probably one of the best things to come from reading this book).

Rashid and Parijahan were also some of my favourite side characters. I love their dynamic and I honestly wish we got to learn more about their past and how they got to know each other. Rashid is also hilarious and really lightened up this book, because it can get pretty dark at times. Also, Parijahan’s relationship with Nadya was so sweet. I love girls taking care of girls.

Now for Nadya…I honestly don’t know what to say. The tagline for this book is “Let Them Fear Her” except I don’t see what there is to fear. Nadya, while conflicted when it comes to her faith (which makes sense, cause that’s definitely something anyone who’s religious experiences), seemed to lose all her common sense and reasoning when it comes to love. I did not get this relationship with Malachiasz. It felt tropey…cause of course the main character (who is all light and good) would fall in love with a dark, mysterious monster (who we don’t know if we can even trust). The whole relationship felt staged, like it was only done because that’s what’s expected, because that’s what readers would want. I’m not saying that this kind of relationship shouldn’t be written or that it’s boring. I do feel like it’s been overdone, but it can be done in a good way. I just didn’t feel anything for the characters. Nadya constantly notices how handsome Malachiasz is, and then boom we have them falling in love, “but oh no, the gods won’t like this, but oh yes, I do like this and damn the gods.”

Someone mentioned in a review that this story wasn’t about Nadya, but more about Malachiasz. And I have to agree. Nadya’s story faded into the background. Her character revolved around a love interest who lies to her and betrays her, yet her feelings for him are so strong that she justifies his behaviour anyway and decides to go along, until he betrays her yet again, and then she’s like “okay, final straw”, before she romantically touches and kisses him right before he flies away into evil bliss. She constantly goes back and forth between doing what she had come to Tranavia to do, but then becoming distracted with Malachiasz and how he’s a tortured soul and is just ruining himself further and needs guidance. For someone who has dedicated their whole life to the gods, I found it difficult to believe that despite her questioning, at the first chance of betrayal, she doesn’t clamp down and harden herself against being used again. She lets herself get further into this mess because her character isn’t a strong, independent female lead, she’s instead driven by love.

The ending was really confusing. I’m not sure if it might make more sense on a second read, but I just didn’t understand what was happening. There was too much going on at once. The whole book felt kind of slow, but also not? There seemed to be this buildup that something big was going to happen, and then nothing really would. So, in a way, all those moments seemed to combine at the end and it made for a very confusing read. I get the author wanted the reader to understand that a lot is going on and things will be revealed or answered later, but a lot of the magic at the end just didn’t follow through with what we had already seen earlier. I had to reread sections a few times, especially with what was happening with Serefin. It was written in a pretty vague, obscure way, that made me think the author was purposely making it difficult for the reader to figure out any clues as to what was happening. I don’t know. There were just a lot of parts that had me scratching my head. It might just be because I did take a bit of time reading this book, so things might have made more sense if I had read it within a couple days.

Overall, I’m still interested in continuing this series. I have hope that the second book will be better, and I want more Serefin and all the side characters. Though at the same time, I’m not looking forward to seeing more Nadya and Malachiasz’s romance. This book reminded me a lot of the Shadow and Bone trilogy, to the point where the similarity was a bit too much, but the premise itself is unique enough that I want to know what’ll happen next.