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_askthebookbug 's review for:
What We Carry
by Maya Shanbhag Lang
• r e c o m m e n d a t i o n •
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"Maybe at our most maternal, we aren’t mothers at all. We’re daughters, reaching back in time for the mothers we wish we’d had and then finding ourselves." - Maya Shanbhag Lang.
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Perhaps because of the close bond that I share with my mother or maybe because I enjoy reading about relationships that carry a certain amount of intimacy to them, What We Carry moved me immensely. Not often does one come across a memoir that speaks of both, glory as well as shortfalls of mothers. Little did I know that after I'd finish reading the last page, I'll fall short of words to comprehend the enormity of this memoir's impact on me. If there's one book you're trying to squeeze in this year, please add What We Carry to your list. This book has my whole heart.
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Maya Lang always thought of her mother as a powerful, independent and fierce woman who moved to the States and raised the family single-handedly. After the divorce, her mother worked multiple jobs to keep the family afloat and Maya grows up in awe of her mother's strength. This strong image of her mother wavers when Maya becomes pregnant. While dealing with postpartum and depression, Maya begins to analyse her relationship with her mother without the rose tinted glasses. When asked for help, her mother simply refuses to assist her and this leaves Maya flabbergasted. A woman who drove hours to make sure her daughter was comfortable in the University, outrightly denies to help her during the pregnancy. Maya cannot understand this side of her mother. But when the mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, things fall into place.
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There's a significant shift that occurs when Maya begins to recall her childhood spent with a practical mother and an abusive father. As she dissects the relationship that she shared with her mother, she comes to think of her as a person. Not as a mother. When Alzheimer's robs Maya of her mother's love, she focuses on understanding her mother's life better. As she works through her mother's illness, she feels the bond with her daughter Zoe grow stronger. As the mother-daughter duo speak candidly about various events that spanned across their lives, they pull back and examine several layers that formed their intricate and complicated relationship. Her mother's vulnerability paired with strength reminded me of my own mother. Maya has a gift to connect with the readers and this memoir felt relatable in more than one aspect. I felt her pain, her joy, her need to seek her mother's approval and the constant effort to match up to her mother's level of service. It all felt personal. Mother-daughter relationships are both easy and at times complicated, and What We Carry projects all of this beautifully. Maya is a powerful writer, saying things that were lodged in my head but never made it onto a piece of paper. Everything about this memoir struck a chord with me and even as I write this review, I know very well that I'll go back to this book time and again to seek comfort and warmth. I highly recommend this.
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Rating : 5/5.
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"Maybe at our most maternal, we aren’t mothers at all. We’re daughters, reaching back in time for the mothers we wish we’d had and then finding ourselves." - Maya Shanbhag Lang.
.
Perhaps because of the close bond that I share with my mother or maybe because I enjoy reading about relationships that carry a certain amount of intimacy to them, What We Carry moved me immensely. Not often does one come across a memoir that speaks of both, glory as well as shortfalls of mothers. Little did I know that after I'd finish reading the last page, I'll fall short of words to comprehend the enormity of this memoir's impact on me. If there's one book you're trying to squeeze in this year, please add What We Carry to your list. This book has my whole heart.
.
Maya Lang always thought of her mother as a powerful, independent and fierce woman who moved to the States and raised the family single-handedly. After the divorce, her mother worked multiple jobs to keep the family afloat and Maya grows up in awe of her mother's strength. This strong image of her mother wavers when Maya becomes pregnant. While dealing with postpartum and depression, Maya begins to analyse her relationship with her mother without the rose tinted glasses. When asked for help, her mother simply refuses to assist her and this leaves Maya flabbergasted. A woman who drove hours to make sure her daughter was comfortable in the University, outrightly denies to help her during the pregnancy. Maya cannot understand this side of her mother. But when the mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, things fall into place.
.
There's a significant shift that occurs when Maya begins to recall her childhood spent with a practical mother and an abusive father. As she dissects the relationship that she shared with her mother, she comes to think of her as a person. Not as a mother. When Alzheimer's robs Maya of her mother's love, she focuses on understanding her mother's life better. As she works through her mother's illness, she feels the bond with her daughter Zoe grow stronger. As the mother-daughter duo speak candidly about various events that spanned across their lives, they pull back and examine several layers that formed their intricate and complicated relationship. Her mother's vulnerability paired with strength reminded me of my own mother. Maya has a gift to connect with the readers and this memoir felt relatable in more than one aspect. I felt her pain, her joy, her need to seek her mother's approval and the constant effort to match up to her mother's level of service. It all felt personal. Mother-daughter relationships are both easy and at times complicated, and What We Carry projects all of this beautifully. Maya is a powerful writer, saying things that were lodged in my head but never made it onto a piece of paper. Everything about this memoir struck a chord with me and even as I write this review, I know very well that I'll go back to this book time and again to seek comfort and warmth. I highly recommend this.
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Rating : 5/5.