Down down to goblintown   hehe no LOTR Hobbitses are hiding in this book. But there is a Goblinhome so may 🎶down down to goblinhome🎶 would be more appropriate. Onto the most important question ever -  for real, why are Goblins so utterly disastrous? I like these chunky stinky gruel-eating weirdos, but they're not terrifying, they're terrifyingly hilarious.

Okay so I don't want to alarm anyone but I feel like T. Kingfisher must have held a séance with the Late Great Terry Pratchett because Nine Goblins along with Minor Mage and A Wizard's Guide To Defensive Baking usually lead to me reading something from Discworld right after. You know, I can see the crossover happening right now, Rincewind somehow finds himself plonked right in the middle of the Whinin Niners Regiment of Goblins and has to use that one spell to find his way back to the disc but not before goblin war-like shenanigans. 

The stumpy goblin short of it is this; I snort-laughed my way through this novella. If that isn't a sign of the funnies, don't know what is.

Worldbuilding/Plot/Themes:
Pure hilarious excellence

Character Development/Favorite Character:
Yes yes Goblins. But have you "seen" Sing-To-Trees?! Okay just bottle him up (with his cheekbones that could sharpen a sword) and put that elf on the big screen for the requisite amount of collective swooning please.

He was saved from being a young maiden’s fantasy—unless she was a very peculiar young maiden—by the fact that he was buried up to the shoulder in the unpleasant end of a heavily pregnant unicorn (Joke's on you Sings - who doesn't love a cute vet?)

Oh yeah and the Whinin' Niners (Blanchett, Nessilka, Albol, Murray, Weatherby, Thumper, Mishkin, Mushkin Gladblack and Buttercup The Goat) are adorable clutzes

Favorite/Curious/Ludicrous/Unique Scene::
The battle for the hill no one cared about.

"The elves down below looked like tall white foxes, all narrow pointy faces and broad pointy ears.  The humans below were a more varied lot, and came in almost as many colors as goblins, from dark brown to pasty pink. No green, though. You couldn’t trust a species that didn’t come in green." That moment when Goblins realize humans are basically taller less pudgy Goblins.

Favorite/Curious/Ludicrous/Unique Quotes: 
They’re all a lot taller than we are, so go for the legs. Hardly anybody has any armor on the back of their knees. We’ll try to find you a shield. Hold the shield over your head, and go for the knees.” Always go for the knees…” (Albol on The Art of War with Elves)

"The teddy-bear, so far as Nessilka could tell, was now the brains of the pair. Blanchett refused to answer any query that was not directed at the bear, and only spoke when translating for the bear. In battle, the bear rode on top of his helmet." (Nessilka on Blanchett ).

All you could do was pray. She wasn’t very good at it—her prayers tended to sound like “You! Up there! Pay attention and heaven help you if you don’t keep an eye on my boys!”—but as she had every night since becoming sergeant, Nessilka prayed. (might just start praying like Nessilka)

Favorite/Curious/Ludicrous/Unique Concepts:
●Gentrification of the Goblin territories by ever multiplying humans. Poor 4 feet talk chunky green weirdos.
●Oh yeah, Murray's Tent Jerky
Speaking of Jerky

StoryGraph Challenge: 1800 Books by 2025
Challenge Prompt: 150 Fantasy books by 2025