Disclaimer: I received an e-copy of this book on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This nonfiction book, inspired by Thomas McBee's own life, deals with his struggle exploring maleness. His ideas of what makes a man are filled by his childhood where he was abused by his father, and by the man, a serial killer who targeted couples to kill the man, who held him at gunpoint, ready to kill him, only to tell him to run when he heard his high voice.

This book is a very moving and heartbreaking story about what it means to be trans, what it means to be a man and so many other things like self-discovery and such. It's hard to describe everything this book deals with as it deals with a lot of things that went on in McBee's life. Trigger warnings for csa and incest, which is discussed quite heavily, but also for the mention of transphobic hate crimes in passing. This is definitely not an easy book to read at times, but it is very, very good.

The story is constantly switching in place and time, but it is done so well that it didn't bother me and I never lost track of what was going on and the writing is also great to read. The descriptions of the trauma he underwent are very moving, but also not voyeuristic in their descriptions of pain. After all this is a story about healing and reading it was very powerful.

McBee's relationship with his girlfriend Parker was also great to read about and I absolutely adored reading about these two.

All in all, this is definitely an amazing story and McBee is an author I will look out for. If you're looking for a book about self-discovery, empathy, dealing with trauma, transitioning or just generally becoming yourself, you need to read this book. It is truly amazing.