2.5 stars
I really don't know how to feel about this one. There were things about it that I really enjoyed, and I found it to be a unique story, but at the same time there were things about it that I wish had been done differently.

What I liked:

1. The way the author describes Abby's love of the water and swimming was very compelling. It made Abby very real for me and I was able to empathize with her as a character when she was diagnosed.

2. I thought the relationship that Abby has with her parents felt realistic, especially with one parent being more invested in her swimming success. As a mom, I really connected with her mother's character. I cannot imagine what I would do in her shoes, but I have a feeling it would be a more intense version of what was in this book.

3. I liked Jen as a side character/best friend. She didn't feel like just a prop for Abby's story, although this changes a little for me with the end of the book. I want to know more about her story.

4. I could see this as a movie. It really felt cinematic to me.

5. This was a quick read. Just over 300 pages and I read it in one sitting.

6. It was obvious that the author did a decent amount of research on HCM before writing this book. Even before I read the author's note, where she talks about her process in writing it.

What I didn't like:

1. I'm not sure exactly how to explain this, but I felt very uneasy as this story went on and Abby sunk more and more into her lies to the people around her. The worst part is that she started to believe them at points as well. Then, when she decided

to go off her meds and try to compete, fully knowing that it could kill her

I felt so much anxiety, even though I figured that everything would turn out fine. After all, we are reading this story in first person. But it still made me uneasy how she talked about her death as if it didn't mean anything because she couldn't swim anymore.
I wish the story would've been less about her loss and her refusal to accept it and more about her accepting it and moving past it, realizing that just because one dream is taken away doesn't mean you can never dream again. I wish we'd seen her explore other interests and find something else that made her happy. Something other than a boy.

2. The ending was rushed. There are so many threads that are introduced throughout the book that are never unpacked. Was Conner really taking something to help him recover from pneumonia? What was Jen's real problem with J.D.? Why was that character even introduced if he wasn't going to do anything at all in the story? Was there someone Jen had feelings for? If so, why was she so uncomfortable mentioning it? What was the story with her and the boy who broke her heart in middle school? Things are referenced and then never explained. It leaves the ending feeling unfinished. I would've also liked some sort of reference to her getting some counseling. Her mother is a counselor, so I think it would be the first step after any kind of diagnosis like that.

3. There is a moment between Abby and one of the love interests where she specifically says, "Don't." and the love interest kisses her anyway. She ends up kissing him back, but that still doesn't make it okay.

I'm not sure I could fully recommend this book, even to people who have been diagnosed with HCM. Sure, it all ends up okay, but she spends the majority of the book being reckless with her condition, up to the point of acting like death would be better than HCM, and I just don't think that sends the right message.