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abbie_ 's review for:
Do You Have Kids?: Life When the Answer Is No
by Kate Kaufmann
3.5
Thank you @jkscommunications for sending me this book to review! While it wasn’t perfect, I do think it’s worth picking up to open up the conversation more around a topic that many people still find awkward. I know from experience how awkward it is trying to justify your choice not to have children to people who can’t understand why, and of course there are those women for whom children are not an option due to biology, and senseless questions of ‘Why don’t you have kids?’ can trigger painful memories for them.
.
The first few chapters of this book are really strong and fascinating, as Kaufmann relays various stories from women she’s been in contact with while researching. They all share their stories of why they haven’t got kids, ranging from wanting to focus on their career, spirituality, religion, lifestyle and inability to conceive for various reasons. Some were sad, some funny, and of course they’re all real people, so all were interesting insights into childless or childfree lives (the distinction being that the former is by chance, the latter by choice). I was really shocked by some of it, such as when one of Kaufmann’s friends essentially ended their friendship because she ‘couldn’t keep up with her’ childlessness when she (the friend) had kids.
.
Then further in Kaufmann explores issues such as medical side effects of not having kids, what options there are for wills and ways childfree/less people donate their assets after they die, end of life care, living situations, religion. While interesting, I found this middle section a little uneven, filled with stats and statistics and a lot of sociology. There was also an odd juxtaposition of style and content, where Kaufmann would use oddly flowery phrases, almost trying to create drama, where more straightforward language would have been better.
.
Despite my niggles with non fiction, I really would recommend this one, I think it could help a lot of people empathise with and understand those of us who do not want children and those who cannot, and it’s always important to read about experiences different from our own.
Thank you @jkscommunications for sending me this book to review! While it wasn’t perfect, I do think it’s worth picking up to open up the conversation more around a topic that many people still find awkward. I know from experience how awkward it is trying to justify your choice not to have children to people who can’t understand why, and of course there are those women for whom children are not an option due to biology, and senseless questions of ‘Why don’t you have kids?’ can trigger painful memories for them.
.
The first few chapters of this book are really strong and fascinating, as Kaufmann relays various stories from women she’s been in contact with while researching. They all share their stories of why they haven’t got kids, ranging from wanting to focus on their career, spirituality, religion, lifestyle and inability to conceive for various reasons. Some were sad, some funny, and of course they’re all real people, so all were interesting insights into childless or childfree lives (the distinction being that the former is by chance, the latter by choice). I was really shocked by some of it, such as when one of Kaufmann’s friends essentially ended their friendship because she ‘couldn’t keep up with her’ childlessness when she (the friend) had kids.
.
Then further in Kaufmann explores issues such as medical side effects of not having kids, what options there are for wills and ways childfree/less people donate their assets after they die, end of life care, living situations, religion. While interesting, I found this middle section a little uneven, filled with stats and statistics and a lot of sociology. There was also an odd juxtaposition of style and content, where Kaufmann would use oddly flowery phrases, almost trying to create drama, where more straightforward language would have been better.
.
Despite my niggles with non fiction, I really would recommend this one, I think it could help a lot of people empathise with and understand those of us who do not want children and those who cannot, and it’s always important to read about experiences different from our own.