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howlinglibraries 's review for:
How to Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills
by Seth Grahame-Smith
As someone who has been watching horror films religiously since I was... 5 years old, probably? I felt like I had to read this. I adore horror films of every subgenre and style, mainstream or indie, comedic or extreme — they're one of my singular favorite things in life and one of my greatest comforts, so to say I should be the prime audience for this book is saying the least.
I've enjoyed this author's sense of humor when I was much younger, so I hoped I still would, but honestly... it's just reached the point of being annoying. The book made the same reference 6+ times in the first 10% of the book (yes, we get it, you hated Jason X! Almost everyone else did, too!), most of the jokes felt stale and tired, and many of the "objective" remarks were just patently false (maybe that was intentional, but it didn't feel like it — do you really mean to tell me you think the only historical horror films are vampire and mummy flicks? I have at least 15 other comments I want to gripe about similarly, but we'd be here all day)...
And then, it felt like a big section of the book just degenerated into "jokes" about other cultures/countries being the source of "evil" objects, curses, etc., which felt so over-played and boring and unoriginal. Like this gem:
"But it's satire, Destiny! You're missing the point!" some of you are saying, I know, and to that I reply, it still wasn't funny. It was cheap.
I haven't written a rant review in a long time and part of me doesn't even want to post this, but I was just so let down by this book that everyone swore would be perfect for me that I can't help but fuss a little. I'm sure plenty of people will love this, and that's fine, but it wasn't for me. It wasn't all bad, and I appreciated a lot of the more subtle references, and I have no doubt that the author is a huge horror film fan, too... I'm just really disappointed in my experience reading this.
I've enjoyed this author's sense of humor when I was much younger, so I hoped I still would, but honestly... it's just reached the point of being annoying. The book made the same reference 6+ times in the first 10% of the book (yes, we get it, you hated Jason X! Almost everyone else did, too!), most of the jokes felt stale and tired, and many of the "objective" remarks were just patently false (maybe that was intentional, but it didn't feel like it — do you really mean to tell me you think the only historical horror films are vampire and mummy flicks? I have at least 15 other comments I want to gripe about similarly, but we'd be here all day)...
And then, it felt like a big section of the book just degenerated into "jokes" about other cultures/countries being the source of "evil" objects, curses, etc., which felt so over-played and boring and unoriginal. Like this gem:
It’s widely accepted that all African villages have demons that spend their time possessing young local girls. Therefore, any hand-crafted souvenirs (especially tribal masks) from that continent are likely carrying some residual evil.
"But it's satire, Destiny! You're missing the point!" some of you are saying, I know, and to that I reply, it still wasn't funny. It was cheap.
I haven't written a rant review in a long time and part of me doesn't even want to post this, but I was just so let down by this book that everyone swore would be perfect for me that I can't help but fuss a little. I'm sure plenty of people will love this, and that's fine, but it wasn't for me. It wasn't all bad, and I appreciated a lot of the more subtle references, and I have no doubt that the author is a huge horror film fan, too... I'm just really disappointed in my experience reading this.