This was one of my most anticipated reads of 2019, and I’m happy to say that I really enjoyed it. It did take me a while to get through, however, and that’s mostly because fasting made me really tired and not feel like reading. I think, in hindsight, I would have loved this book even more if I had read it in a few sittings, instead of taking almost three weeks.

The writing…I was literally blown away. There is just something deliciously poetic and tangible about the words that Nafiza weaves together. It made the world feel so rich and colourful. I was reminded a lot of The City of Brass, especially the setting that this story takes place in. Every little detail was a joy to read about. The bazaars, the food, the social interactions, the clothing, the myriad of cultures all living together so peacefully. The religion. I saw aspects of my life and my culture and my faith in everything, and I think it will always be a novelty for me, no matter how much I see it.

My one complaint is the way the multiple POVs were organized. I loved every single POV, don’t get me wrong. It added something unique and necessary to the story, and I felt like I could really get to know the characters and their motivations and feelings. But the POVs would switch within the chapter, and sometimes that was a little jarring. I think I’m just used to POVs switching between chapters, but it wasn’t something that affected my reading experience too much.

Another thing that stood out to me was the first-person narrative. I’m not used to seeing that in fantasy, so it did take a while to get used to and at times felt awkward. I found that a lot of sentences felt repetitive in the sense that they all began with “Fatima Ghazala thinks…” and then “Fatima Ghazala wishes…” It made reading a little choppy at times. Also, the characters ask a lot of internal questions, and I felt like those sentences could have been taken out or reduced and left to the reader’s imagination.

I want to get back to the world because I really enjoyed every aspect of it. Seeing Fatima Ghazala’s everyday life before we actually get hit with the main plot of the story was so refreshing. There is just something about routine that I love, especially when it’s with things I can relate to. Fatima Ghazala waking up to do wudhu and pray Fajr. Her sister Sunaina making roti. The walk through Noor, seeing the busy streets, the vendors, the food and wares that are being sold. THE MITHAI. I was drooling while reading this book and now all I want is jalebi. Zulfikar’s obsession with gulab jamun is hilarious to me, and I don’t know why. Also, these people are always eating mithai and I want that life tbh. And besides all of that…I loved the glimpses we saw of how the city of Noor is run through Zulfikar and Aarush’s POVs. I really wish we had gotten more in-depth politics because I love that stuff, but this story is really about the characters.

My only complaint is, I wish the book came with a map. I had trouble visualizing where everything was, and a map would have been a perfect addition to keep things straight in my head.

Now, onto the huge cast of characters. I don’t even know where to start.

The Alif sisters…At first, I thought they weren’t going to be super important to the story and that I would just get confused with who was who, but they all have really unique personalities and are honestly such good friends to Fatima Ghazala. They were the lightness that this book needed, especially with how dark things got later on. I loved Adila the most. She’s sensible and a great confidante to Fatima Ghazala, and I love when she was there for her no matter what, even to the point of telling her that it’s okay if she wants to say no last minute and not get married. She’s the friend that everyone honestly needs. Azizah was adorable, and I really loved the whole little side-plot with her crush on Bilal. It was resolved in such a perfect way. I feel like Amirah was the only one of the sisters who we didn’t get much from, but she seems more like the quiet one among the three. Ali and Asma were also so sweet. I loved how protective and caring they were and how they took Fatima Ghazala in with open arms when she had no one left. They wanted the best for her, and yet they didn’t force her to do what they wanted, or thought was best, and left important decisions up to her.

Sunaina…I didn’t love her at first. After what Fatima overhears during Deepavali, and then Sunaina calling her a monster. It made sense because Fatima is no longer Fatima, and it’s not an easy thing to accept all of a sudden. A lot of changes happen all at once and the tension between them makes sense. Though Sunaina saying that Fatima was a burden still irked me a bit even after they reconciled. But then we get my absolute favourite scene between Sunaina and Bhavya (which I’ll get into later), that showed a unique perspective to both their stories. I related to both of them so much, and it wasn’t just that. I had friends messaging me saying “THIS IS YOU” and I was like “Yes, yes, it is me and I’m reading it in a book, this feels so surreal.” I really loved how Sunaina is so talented with making cosmetics. I feel like it’s an occupation that you don’t really see characters in books holding, and I sort of hope she can open her own shop one day right beside Fatima Ghazala’s bookstore.

Zulfikar. I was really not for this ship in the beginning. You guys know how picky I am when it comes to romance, and while I got that both were attracted to each other, I was still a little annoyed cause I knew it was going to lead to romance, and I’m not a fan lol

But wow did that change very quickly. I will admit, that if I had read this book in a couple sittings, I might have enjoyed their relationship more. That being said, the last 1/3 of the book, really changed my whole opinion about this and I ended up falling in love (a little).

One thing that did annoy me about the relationship with Zulfikar and Fatima Ghazala was how Fatima Ghazala was always asserting her independence and her lack of need for protection. It’s something that I see a lot in female characters in books; the whole need to state how they don’t need to answer to anyone and can do whatever they want, and if they somehow don’t do these things, they’re lacking the agency a good female character needs to be likeable. Fatima Ghazala literally knows nothing about anything that is happening to her, and Zulfikar is the only one who seems to know a little and is trying to keep her and everyone else safe, yet she’s still prickly towards him. I guess in hindsight it makes sense because she doesn’t trust many people and she’s been through a lot, but it did bug me at times.

Besides that, I did enjoy their interactions for the most part. The romance between the two was awkward and I could sense the whole “denial of feelings” thing happening. But then we get the appearance of a past lover and I really thought this whole thing was going to become a love triangle with lots of drama, but I was actually surprised by how Zulfikar handled this situation with so much maturity. He recognized he wasn’t the same man he was before, and that he had feelings for Fatima Ghazala, so going back to his past would be an insult to the kind of man he has become. That whole thing was resolved really well.

And then we have the marriage bond. I actually sort of screamed when this was brought up, but again this was done really well. We see that Fatima Ghazala isn’t sure if she has feelings for Zulfikar, but at the same time she’s hurt that he only wants to marry her because it’ll help his people, until he confesses that he does have feelings for her, but then she’s like “no, I think it’s my fire that’s make you feel this way”, but they decide to do it anyway, cause it’s the right thing to do. I was freaking out a little.

The scene with Adila where she asks Fatima Ghazala if she loves him and she replies with:

“Not yet. If he walks away from me right now, it will hurt, but it will be nothing I won’t recover from. If I marry him, I will have to trust him with not just my body but also my heart. That scares me more than the Shayateen do.”

That is literally a whole mood if I can say so myself. We do see Fatima Ghazala sort of denying her feelings towards Zulfikar, but it made sense considering everything she has gone through and lost.

Then we have the wedding and I actually died. It was so perfect and exactly like the weddings I’ve attended and seeing that in a book was just something I never thought would happen ever. It might seem something little to scream about, but I was so happy. Also, I totally died when both Fatima Ghazala and Zulfikar reached for the same gulab jamun. They’re so cute omg

AND THEN I LOVE ALL THE CONSENT. When Fatima Ghazala is not sure about this whole marriage thing and whether it’s going to be a “true one” or not. And Zulfikar is honest and is like, well I sort of want it to be a true one, “BUT IF YOU DON’T, I WILL RESPECT YOUR WISHES.” And he says a bunch of cheesy stuff, which made me roll my eyes, but okay, it’s cute, I guess, and Fatima Ghazala almost dies from blushing.

The marriage bond was really beautiful. I liked how they could sense each other’s emotions, but not their thoughts. It didn’t feel invasive, especially considering that they could both block that part off if they wanted to be completely alone. It just added something magical and pure to the whole bond and I really surprisingly appreciated that.

Before I talk about the end, I really want to discuss the other women in this book. There is something about have strong women who step up and deal with things when the men are useless that just makes my blood sing with joy.

I really hated Bhavya. She’s a spoiled brat for the most part and expected everything to be handed to her. She complained constantly and was just annoying. Her obsession with the Emir resulted in her doing a lot of stupid things, and she was just so petty sometimes. But we really get to see why she is the way she is. And that goes back to the whole scene between her and Sunaina. It really made me feel for her character and by the end I was seriously impressed with how much she had grown throughout this book.

We have this whole scene where Sunaina asks Bhavya if she actually loves the Emir and Bhavya replies with:

“He is an escape. Being with him would mean no one would push me around to behave in a certain manner or be a certain way.”

It really goes to explain Bhavya’s actions. She lives in a beautiful cage, and people don’t seem to understand why she’s so angry and bitter and ungrateful. We see her trying to break out of this cage through the only marriage that would set her free. And then we see Sunaina, who’s story is kind of the opposite to Bhavya’s.

Sunaina says:

“I was with a man simply because I was expected to be in some sort of a relationship with one. I suppose I still am. I just don’t care about expectations anymore…I didn’t want to marry him, so I told people that Fatima was an obstacle to the wedded bliss I didn’t really want…I thought if I tried hard enough, I would be able to love him. If I pretended hard enough, I would. I wanted to love him. Being with him felt normal. It felt like the natural progression in my life, in any woman’s life. You grow up a daughter to become a wife and later a mother. I couldn’t accept it in the end. I couldn’t accept him or the idea of marriage. I felt suffocated when I thought about marrying him. He felt wrong. All men do."

And then Bhavya explains how Sunaina is lucky that she has a choice, that she can choose not to marry. But she herself, is a Rajkumari and doesn’t have that luxury. “Having the Emir on my side would mean freedom. A limited sort of freedom but freedom anyway. I wish I wasn’t a girl. I wish I had been born a boy. Then no one would have been able to force me to do things I don’t want to do.”

All I can say is that this hit me right in the heart. I haven’t seen truer words ever written in a book before. And honestly, this scene changed this whole book for me and made me fall in love with the messages it leaves the reader with.

Then we have Aruna. I loved her the second she appeared in this book and I will say this for everyone in the back. I STAN ONE QUEEN AND IT IS MAHARANI ARUNA. She is a badass in disguise. Her whole story, every part of it, was just incredible and so empowering. To see a woman rise up to her position after having gone through so much, but yet remain humble and loving and caring. She passed on her jewels to Fatima Ghazala…and it made me want to cry cause that’s the kind of relationships I want to see. I want to see women standing up and supporting each other. And this was just so perfect in every way.

Okay, the ending…It didn’t feel rushed to me, like I think it did for some. The politics and rebellion were sort of glossed over. We didn’t get an in-depth look at it, and lot of it was resolved off the page, but I felt like that suited this story really well. We’re mostly focused on the characters and how they react to everything, and I think if we had focused too much on the politics and rebellion that was brewing, it would have taken away from the character development.

Bhavya really took charge of the last couple chapters of this book. I was so proud of her character development. Like I said before, we see all these women take charge for the mistakes the men have made in their lives. AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND. We see Bhavya make some difficult choices, while trying to rein in her emotions and anger. She does what needs to be done, which her brother couldn’t do because he was weak. And we see Aruna go in Aarush’s place to take petitions from the people. She doesn’t use words, but silence to get everyone to take her seriously, and she doesn’t just do what her husband’s job is, she also scouts out the real traitors in her court. It was such an empowering scene and I just love how strong she is. I seriously would love a book all about her. And then we get to the end, where Aarush is sulking and Aruna doesn’t just pat him on the shoulder and say “there, there”, she tells him the truth and how he’s failed not just his family but the whole country because of his indecision and lack of ability to make difficult choices. She tells him what he doesn’t want to hear and then leaves like a true Queen and I was cheering every second.

We even see the Raees make the difficult choice of killing her son for betraying not just her, but their entire race. And of course, we have Fatima Ghazala, killing a part of her own soul to save the rest of the country from the Shayateen. I just loved all these strong women standing up and fixing everything. It was everything I wanted from this book.

I’m going to end off with a beautiful quote from Zulfikar. I did really like how their relationship was resolved. We see not just Fatima Ghazala, but also Bhavya and Sunaina struggling with the aftermath of what happened. And I really appreciated seeing that things weren’t just back to normal. They’re still suffering mentally and emotionally, and it’s going to take a while to heal and they might never go back to the way things are. Fatima Ghazala cutting herself off from her friendships and relationships felt like a normal reaction to everything she had gone through, and that final scene with Zulfikar was exactly what she needed to be told.

“That is what makes you good, habibti. Only monsters kill without regard to the life they are taking. You are not a monster.”

Overall, giving this 4/5 stars. An incredible read, and I can’t recommend it enough.