"You are making the best choices you can in a society that holds mothers to unachievable standards."

"...the expectations of ideal worker and ideal mother are in an unresolvable conflict, and that neither of those paradigms is good for our humanity or our happiness."

I related to a lot of what the author discusses in this book. I went into parenthood completely under prepared for how tough it would be. What I saw of moms in my inner circle and in media made it look a lot easier than it is. However, a cultural and political shift could immensely improve life for families, and the author goes into the reasons that investment in better childcare support, parental leave and pay equity would truly benefit the community as a whole.

The chapter on history was a bit of a slog because it's shows such slow progress, and in fact it's super frustrating to realize that per the Lanham Act there was quality, affordable childcare during WWII but the program was discontinued once moms weren't deemed as necessary in the workplace. We pay over $18,000/year for two young kids, and we're lucky to have such an amazing in-home daycare. However, that's only about $4/hour per kid, and childcare workers deserve to be much better compensated than that.

I appreciate that the author admitted her privilege and how it afforded her many options and benefits that many working and/or poor mothers don't have, and I appreciate that the author included info and voices of Black mothers although she was a bit light on other marginalized viewpoints. The majority of the book is seen through her white, middle to upper middle class lens, and it would be interesting to read a similar book written by someone from a different race and class.

Finally I want to address the low ratings, most of which seem to result from the social media chapter. I didn't find that the author was targeting and judging specific social media moms as much as she was pointing out how little diversity and reality the majority of the popular accounts reflect. All social media is a glossy front carefully cultivated by its creators, but for so long that's put forth an unachievable expectation for most moms. That was takeaway I received, and I believe that was the author's intent. I don't know any of the accounts mentioned in the book, but I do follow some good ones: HR Mom, Good Inside, @Destini.Ann, Dr. Noble, Our Mama Village, Kids Eat in Color, Parenting Decolonized, Janet Lansbury, Naya's Learning Corner, @KindredbyParents, @britthawthrone, @theycallmemamabennett, @rie_defined, @freeblackmotherhood