Before anything else: I truly believe that I deserve to be awarded for finishing this book, despite the damages inflicted on my mental well-being. Someday, I will press charges. But, for now, here's my preliminary review of My Summer of Lost Brain Cells and Misfortune:

Iris Wang is a walking, breathing, and (unfortunately) talking oxymoron (emphasis necessary). I have never encountered a character so self-absorbed but also so irritatingly oblivious to her own faults, personality, and (lack of) intelligence.

I can cite so many examples, but one of my favorite ones is the scene where, after getting rejected by every single university she applied to, Iris receives an email from the high school guidance counselor and her first thought is "Omg, are they contacting me to announce that I'm graduating as the valedictorian?" This is coming from the girl who took her SATs hungover and used 2 brain cells for her college admission essays. I'd also like to add that at 17 years old, she admits to not knowing what global warming is or how family trees work (while repeatedly patting herself on the back for being a "genius" and gift to mankind). Indeed, Iris Wang has the audacity of a middle-class white woman and the mental capacity of a 7-year-old child.

Aside from Iris being the most insufferable protagonist I've ever read, none of the other characters were remotely likable. Listen. I just wanted ONE decent character to root for. Just ONE! 'Tis all I ask. And instead, I had to put up with these:

• Iris' (ex-) boyfriend - cheated on her with her best friend and basically treated Iris like his sugar mommy
• Iris' best friend - constantly flaunted their infidelity on social media and to Iris' face
• Iris' parents - locked up their teenage daughter in a cupboard because they were ashamed of her (and despite their constant gripes about their daughter's recklessness, impulsivity, and poor decision-making, they gave her a credit card with virtually no spending limit)
• Iris' uncle - a billionaire who wanted to bulldoze an extremely poor neighborhood so he could build another luxury hotel (and

Spoiler

agrees to cease operations and relocate his mall IF AND ONLY IF they're able to raise enough money to cover the cost because he doesn't want to suffer any losses

)
• Iris' cousin - unremarkable, and while I could mildly sympathize with her, I felt betrayed when she

Spoiler

suggested to do the fundraising thing instead of demanding her father to MOVE THE DAMN HOTEL ELSEWHERE

• Iris' new love interest - could have been charming and decent, but ended up enabling Iris' "woe is me, i'm the victim" narrative and ALWAYS apologized whenever he rightfully called her out

[Sorry, not sorry but I've already forgotten most of their names]

An issue that I have with this book is that it is painfully obvious that all these shitty characters exist to make Iris look less shitty and more like the victim in this situation. Their main purpose is to help Iris escape accountability for her wrong actions and detestable behavior. And honestly? If an author has to go through hoops and make everyone else spectacularly awful just to make the main character seem redeemable in comparison, it's shitty characterization. And since this book is extremely character-driven, it is likewise shitty and terrible and a huge steaming pile of yikes.

The inside of Iris' mind is.... deeply unsettling and uncomfortable. I found it really perplexing that she continuously likened people in her life to... animals. At first, she was fixated on her parents' Chinese zodiac signs, but as the story progressed, she would refer to her dad's speaking as "bleating" (because he was born on the Year of the Goat) and her mom's lecturing as "barking" (because she was born on the Year of the Dog) and suddenly, everyone became an animal in her thoughts.

I gasp loudly. To be honest, everything about them are absolutely perfect, 250 percent pageant-worthy. Frank has the well-shaped buttocks of a prize-winning golden retriever and the legginess of a standard-size schnauzer.

Hearing my messy, snot-waterfalling sniffles, my dad makes some kind of barn animal grunt in return, but he still doesn't speak or look at me.

Frank's mouth is moving, but I can't help thinking about the too-symmetrical shape of his lips, which is like a geometry lesson in itself. The way that he overpronounces his words and nibbles beautifully on his lower lip when he's concentrating. It's adorable and fascinating. Almost like watching a quirky but intelligent chipmunk.

Unsettling animal metaphors aside, Iris is also wildly obsessed with fantasizing that she's adopted (and secretly part of a royal family or something) and she exhibits so much internalized racism that, for the most part, was not sufficiently challenged. On more than one occasion, she asks herself if she's really Chinese or if she's secretly Korean or Japanese -- which perpetuates the notion that Asian ethnicities are interchangeable. She also describes Mandarin as "complicated science-fiction sounds."

Towards the end, Iris "grows" and is now a compassionate, mature, and empowered woman who likes to teach the English language to poor Chinese kids. And her growth comes across as inorganic and leaves so much to be desired. There's a specific scene that's so obviously intended to be a Female Empowerment Moment, but it falls flat on its face because Iris' sudden 180 is just unbelievable and inauthentic. Especially because the lack of accountability in this book is astonishing.

All in all, the success of My Summer of Love and Misfortune lies in Iris Wang's character, and unfortunately, Iris cannot be redeemed. She is the Britta of YA literature. This is the closest I've felt to wanting to cyber-bully a fictional character. And the forced hilarity in the author's writing style is so off-putting that I'll most likely never pick up any of her future books.

Not recommended.

* I received a digital ARC of this book (via NetGalley) from its publisher in exchange for an honest review. Any quotes used in this review are subject to changes in the final copy.