TL;DR: All in all, I was disappointed by the queer/ disabled elements in this book as it tacked on tons of stereotypes. Also, the victim in this book definitely seemed a little contrived and the book felt too long/ under edited. This is not “a gay epic” or even good representation. However, if you want a book to get hooked on or an interesting but sad story with some romantic tension, this may be for you.

As a queer person who deals with chronic illness, I did not enjoy this book. Will it evoke emotion? Yes, it will. There are also some beautifully written passages. However, there are also passages that make it a little too obvious the writer may not have a lot of personal experiences with what is being written on. Parts of this book were enchanting but the book put me in a terrible reading slump and presented nearly every gay/ queer stereotype and disabled/ chronically ill stereotype there is, which made it hard to enjoy. Without giving character names and avoiding plot/ spoilers, here are a few- a queenie/ dramatic gay man who has his friends consider him an emotional drain behind his back, gays/ queer individuals that are interested in the art world and legal world, a disabled person against the use of mobility aids, Catholic molestations of people who may turn out to be queer (Catholic cause and effect stereotype), gay people that are wealthy and live in posh areas, connecting love or the loss of love with an eating disorder in queers, gay/queer people who love interior design and fashion, a romanticized portrayal of hypnogogic pain killers via a chronically ill person, portraying someone who loves a disabled person as a hero, gay men that joke about lesbians/ treat lesbians as a joke or funny addition/ comic relief, and a queer man who doesn’t like to label himself gay/queer / continually distances himself from queerness. It isn’t that these can’t appear in a novel. It isn’t even that a non-queer/ abled person can’t write about these things. It’s just that all of these things together in a single book was an overwhelmingly tiring experience for me as a queer person with chronic illness. The style of writing is on point for a queer/disabled tragedy by a non queer/disabled person but with more romantic drama/ tension. It’s not that I wouldn’t recommend this book point blank (come to your own conclusions after reading) but I’d prefer to warn those that may have come for the “gay epic” they were promised. It isn’t bad but it isn’t a gay epic. However, if you’d like a life-long story with lots of romantic tension and tragedy to get hooked on, this is a good choice- just be aware of those stereotypes. As a side note, this book felt very under-edited. Some of the scenes were amazing and heart-wrenching but many scenes felt unnecessary or even repetitive. At over 700 pages, this book is veritable tome when it could have been done in maybe 500 or so. Personally, while I was invested at points, a lot of the career-centric elements and repeated actions had me losing focus and after page 600 I was really expecting it to be over at any moment. As for comments about whether or not this book is “emotionally manipulative” to the readers- I don’t think I can say that. Some books are tragic or have a low tone/ mood and some people like that. Yes, it did feel as though the author put a character through so many horrid events that it was difficult to suspend my disbelief and yes it came off a little bizarrely when it felt as though the writer did not have personal experience with anything close to these events but this book is not the first to do that. This book was clearly designed to be a book all about victimhood and that’s unsurprising with the writer’s first book being about the predator. She clearly wanted to write about the life of the other side of that coin and she clearly went all out. While it may be a little too much, I wouldn’t go as far as calling it “manipulative” unless you want to say all writers manipulate their readers and I guess that’s true.