Food. That’s really what women spend a lot of their day thinking about. (“Ugh, two hours until lunch?” “What am I doing for dinner?”) So really, can we blame Salem for being hangry and mad about dying…and not even being able to eat her cupcakes? After all, Salem herself says she has three modes: angry, hungry, and super angry. Totally worth crawling back into the car after her Hostess cupcakes to fix at least one of those problems. Right?

Salem could totally be my BFF. She’s brash, ballsy, totally has no filter, and why would she, as she experiences several WTF moments per day on her way to Reaperdom. Speaking of… let’s just get this out of the way now.

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