This was a solid book. I think I would have truly loved it and felt heard in many ways if I had read this when I was 13-15 and it would have brought a lot of hope to my teen self suffering through the recent death of a loved one. 

Reading it now I had a hard time with the characters as everything felt a bit forced in trying to be "relatable." I struggled with the way the narrator would say things as if she had a lot more experience then she does... like she said something to the affect of her Grandma doing something specific every year for her boyfriend during Christmas when they have only been together for 1 year. Just odd little things where she would say things as if she has the knowledge of a mother who has had several kids, or many years with her partner... and it was clearly the author's voice bleeding through as the narrators. That all said... 

I would have given this a 4 star if it wasn't for the most cringy and weird and pointless intimacy scene. I cannot even say it was a make out session or sex scene... it was just the weirdest intimacy. It was a painful discovery of there being a weird other thing that people might be into sexually. Which I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, and it was probably so cringy and weird because the author wanted to write the intimacy of youthful exploration but didn't want to write teens actually doing it... but my god. If the teens just did it I would have felt more wholesome for it.