In this autobiographical book, Putsata Reang brings us in the intimate journey of her family fleeing Cambodian war and starting anew in the USA, and her struggles as a child of an immigrant family and as a member of the LGBTQ community.

There is a lot to unpack, and various interesting themes. Besides the historical facts about Cambodian war, Putstata Reang paints a notable picture of the “complex” children of immigrants often face, that is to say the feeling of owning perfection to their parents to repay their sacrifice they made in the quest of a better for their children. Additionally, the author details her difficulty in coming out to her parents, and how this was in complete opposition to her felt obligation of being the perfect child.

While the books is well written, it still misses something. First of all, the author being a journalist, the book takes a “journalistic” tone: personally I could not stop thinking about how it would have made such a good fiction novel. Yet, this is very subjective, and does not take away anything from the story.

Secondly, the story is very much centered on the author’s mother, and while she relates some of her father’s the wrongdoings (violence and abuse), it does not analyze this relation at all: I can’t say whether it was voluntary, if it shows that the author still has to unpack all of her traumas and experiences, or if she did but not felt ready to expose it - while it is impossible for us to say, it does take away something from it.

Finally, something that my cisgender eye did not catch it at first, but that @independent_wombat pointed out is how the author replicates some quite problematic patriarchal structures in her relationship, which is also a pity: once again, this is HER story, how SHE acted being who she is and having grown up in the society she has. So, no blame nor hate on her, just something to take into account