I am very confused about my feelings for this book. My insides have been completely ravaged. There is a slow, almost monotonous pace to the narrative and yet it had me feeling things. All the things. They weren't necessarily intense feelings, but enough to stir me up and affect me. It's something visceral and inexplicable.

The realism in this novel is on point. It feels like real people, real relationships, a real progression of skill and life events. Maybe that was part of why I'm so confused. There wasn't anything fantastical about it...it all felt completely tangible. Can you be lost in something because it feels too believable?

It's absolutely a good read. I'd say I didn't really like or feel attached to any of the characters, but I'm finding that's kind of a lie as I write this. I did care about them. When did that happen? I'm not big on gaming, and yet pieces of that also drew me in so well. Who even am I?

It's a slow burn kind of read with a literary flavor. It won't be for everyone. I honestly didn't think it was going to be for me. But there are also some fantastic moments of brilliance that had me in deep contemplation. It's a completely different kind of read and I've definitely been affected by it in a meaningful way.