I read "The Start of You and Me" by Emery Lord about a month ago (January, 2017) and really enjoyed it. It was the light, fluffy contemporary that I'd needed in that moment after reading a book I absolutely hated. I had "When We Collided" on my shelf as well, and wanted to pick it up right away, but critical reviews from reviewers I trust made me a little wary. Fortunately, this book proves that sometimes you just have to go into a book open-minded and form your own opinion. I was pleasantly surprised by this book and the emotional impact it had for me.

Things I liked:

Characters:
Emery Lord did a wonderful job creating these characters. From Jonah and Vivi to all of the side characters, they all felt very well-developed to me. I also loved Jonah's family dynamic and also how Vivi interacted with them, especially the 'littles', as the youngest three siblings are collectively referred to. If I had to choose one character who I wasn't as thrilled with, it would be Carrie, Vivi's mother. I'll explain why later on.

The depiction of grieving and depression:
At the beginning of the book, it has been 6 or 7 months since Jonah's father passed away unexpectedly. While their mother sank into a deep depression to the point of not even leaving her room, the older three siblings are forced to assume the adult roles in the house in every way. With Jonah especially, you get the sense that he hasn't allowed himself time to grieve and just mourn his father because he is trying to be the super-responsible older brother. Compounded with that is the knowledge that both of his older siblings are about to go off to college and he will be left to support the family on his own.

The depiction of mental illness:
From the first few pages, I sensed that there was something just a little off about Vivi, even before we learn that she is supposed to be on lithium, which is a mood-stabilizing drug. In the beginning, her behavior is bubbly and vivacious, and we are just led to believe that she is just that kind of upbeat person. As the story progresses, her behavior becomes more and more erratic. Reading from her perspective is like watching a car crash in slow motion. As readers, we can all see that something awful is going to happen, but she is completely oblivious as she spirals out of control. I have known people who were diagnosed as bipolar. The depiction of this disease felt very authentic to me. Vivi did things that were dangerous and awful, but she wasn't an awful person. I also felt like Jonah's reaction to her increasingly-wild behavior felt realistic. Despite all of the growing up he'd done since his father's passing, he's still a kid. Vivi wasn't his first girlfriend, but we get the sense that this is the most emotionally intense relationship he's ever been in. As a reader, you can see the toxicity that their relationship is breeding. I wouldn't go so far as to call it abusive, but definitely dysfunctional. And because he doesn't know the true nature of her mental state, he deals with everything the way I think most boys would their first time in love.


Things I didn't like:

Carrie:
Vivi's mother was the one character I didn't think was written in a convincing way. Near the beginning of the book, she gives us our first notion that there is something off about Vivi's behavior and, understandably, shows concern that her daughter may be skipping her medication. Vivi blows up at her mother and storms off, and her mother's response to her overreaction is to just accept that her daughter is being honest with her. Later, after another outburst from Vivi, Carrie accuses her again of skipping meds and even counts her daughter's pills, which is okay because Vivi has taken to tossing her lithium pill into the ocean each morning. After that, Vivi impulsively steals her mother's credit card, drives off to another city and buys a Vespa. What is Carries response? Is it to ground her and make her return the Vespa? Nope. Is it to insist that her daughter talks to a counselor because she is OBVIOUSLY off her meds? Uh-uh. So what is it? Nothing. There are absolutely no repercussions for Vivi's actions. That made no sense to me whatsoever. At one point Carrie says something like, "I caught her stealing, drinking, and smoking, and I thought it was just normal teenage stuff." Um, what? Even if that behavior is normal teenage stuff, does that mean it goes unchecked? I did not like her character at all. It was like she had her head in the sand after about the first 30 pages.

Insta-love:
This is one trope I really can't stand, although it actually bothered me less in this book than it has in others I've read. I think that's because it's obviously more like infatuation at first sight for Jonah, although his feelings do intensify rather quickly. And in Vivi's case, it felt like just natural part of her mental illness. Lows and highs are all intensified, so a feeling of love at first sight feels realistic. I still don't really like this trope as it often feels a little lazy.

All that said, the end of this book really got to me. I found myself choked up and even getting a little teary at the resolution to this story. I loved it because it wasn't the happily ever after that so many YA books (especially YA romances) give you. The funny thing is that I wasn't even a fan of Vivi and Jonah as a couple because it was obviously a very toxic relationship. Despite that, I really appreciated the way that these characters resolved their relationship. The letter that she wrote to him was really beautiful and even though it was bittersweet, it was also full of hope and love and it got me right in the feels.

At the end of the day, I really appreciated this book. I'll be waiting for Emery Lord's next.