TW/CW: grief, physical/emotional abuse

I may be (okay, definitely am) in the minority here, but unlike other reviewers, I didn't hate this book because of the cheating. While it's usually not my thing, in this one I was surprisingly okay with it. I absolutely wouldn't have been okay with Asher having a girlfriend and Livie just being confused about Asher. First off, I hate the "pining heroine". The one who wants the guy so she sits around and waits for him to see how great she is. Add in that the main point of this book is that Livie is getting to know who she is, and, yeah, the cheating made sense.

Livie has always lived her life being exactly who she thinks her parents (who were killed in a car wreck when Livie was eleven) would want her to be. She was especially close with her dad, and living up to what she thinks was his idea of her is incredibly important to Livie. She's planned out her entire future without giving any thought to whether or not it's the future she wants.

Part of that future includes going to Princeton, where her parents went. I loved the first scene, with Kacey and Livie at the toga party. Livie doesn't want to be there, but on the orders of her unconventional psychiatrist and under the eye of her party-encouraging sister, she's definitely outside of her comfort zone. Jello shots and an inexperienced Livie don't mix. This is where she meets Asher.

Asher is known as the guy who parties a lot. He sleeps around. He doesn't come across as the most serious guy. Livie is immediately attracted to him, even if she doesn't want to admit it. She is adamant that Asher isn't the guy for her. Enter Connor. Connor is exactly the kind of guy Livie has always pictured in her future. Sweet, studious, preppy and Irish. She thinks he's the guy her dad would have wanted for her. And, besides, Asher has a serious girlfriend (who he has repeatedly cheated on).

Connor and Asher are best friends, and live off campus in a house with two other guys. Obviously, this means that Livie and Asher are going to be forced to see one another. Neither is great at fighting their attraction. And talk about mixed signals. One minute Asher is telling Livie that they could never be together and the next he's got his tongue down her throat. We are given a bit of romantic Asher, but not enough for me to like him.

While I liked Livie, I do wish the author had given her a little more experience when it came to sex. Livie's first kiss is a drunken one with Asher. And she's a virgin when she sleeps with Asher. Asher, on the other hand falls into the ever present manwhore category. I would have loved to see Livie maybe hook up with Connor before she and Asher get together. Asher even has sex with another woman while Livie is in the house where he and Connor live. Livie is across the hall, taking a tour of the house, and Asher is banging some random girl. Yeah, Livie and Asher weren't together. Asher was cheating on his girlfriend, but again, he also cheats with Livie, so can't throw stones there. But his justification was that he was jealous that Livie was in Connor's room? So, interrupt them. Get mad. Whatever. But having him have sex with someone else while Livie was in the same house just put me off of Asher immediately. And, yes, we are given "reasons" for Asher having slept with so many girls, but, eh, I still sort of hated him.

And him sleeping with Livie? The timing there definitely put him square in douchebag territory.

Asher also has a lot of things he needs to work out. His dad is abusive. Asher wants to live his own life, but has to live the one his dad wants him to for fear of what his dad will do if he steps out of line. This part of the story is meant to be tragic, but by this time I disliked Asher for so many other reasons, I had a hard time connecting and feeling his pain.

This book is full of angst. You have the pining, the cheating, Livie's fear of failure and Asher's family problems. And the main focus of Livie figuring out if she's on the right path for herself. Much of it seemed to drag on needlessly.

We're treated to some small snippets of the characters we met in Ten Tiny Breaths. I enjoyed those scenes immensely. They were light hearted and gave us a bit of a reprieve from the angst. I love how Kacey was always Livie's sister, not trying to step in and be Livie's mom. Kacey wanted Livie to make mistakes, to experience life, and to not always be so serious. Total big sister stuff, and it was heartwarming to see the relationship between them.

I do think this was a good read. I would have most likely classified it as a great read if Asher's sexcapades were toned down some. And if Livie would have had literally any experience with someone else besides the philandering, manwhore Asher.

I ended up going with three stars because, in the end, I liked Livie, I loved her and Kacey's relationship, and Livie's journey to find herself was interesting enough for me to keep reading (even after I realized that I wasn't going to be Team Asher)