I have so many friends that have ADHD, both diagnosed or self-diagnosed (and currently seeking a diagnosis). It was refreshing to read through this and get a glimpse of how ADHD can be debilitating for day-to-day functioning. Roxanne and Richard switch back and forth in first person point-of-view as they each give their perspective as a couple that lives together in the United Kingdom. 

Roxanne elaborates on her journey from self-hatred to self-love, from toxic romantic relationships to a now healthy one, and learning to work with her ADHD rather than fighting it. On page 12, for example, she states:

I have witnessed my own mother have executive function issues like this. Roxanne gives another example of having trouble with directions and my mother has the exact same issue.  A lot of my friends with ADHD can also relate to the level of shame that is expressed by Roxanne here. 

Roxanne's husband, Rich, is her greatest supporter. You can hear the level of compassion through the narrative voice that they use with each other. Their relationship as not all been smooth sailing. However, getting diagnosed has allowed both Rox and Rich to have more compassion for one another and find ways to tackle a problem together rather than place blame on each other. There is a very important part of the book where Rox talks about co-dependency. She admits that she does need Rich in her life to function properly, and she is not ashamed of that. Her quality of life is exponentially better since she has opted to share her burdens with Rich. I think that neurodivergent people often live in the margins of society because we are taught that we must function the way everyone else does. We must learn to be independent in every way imaginable and if we are not, we are somehow failing. Neurodivergence can be debilitating and disabling in some ways, and I had never thought of codependence in the way that Rox framed it. It really made me rethink my own relationship with hyper-independence and how helpful it has been to let that go slowly. My quality of life has also improved as I've let go of the burden of having to do everything alone.

This book was a healing experience to read, and I recommend it to anyone interested in learning about ADHD, either for themselves or for loved ones around them. Even if you don't know anyone in your life that has ADHD this book provides a lens of empathy if you ever do encounter anyone who has this disorder.