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samdalefox 's review for:

What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey
4.5
challenging emotional hopeful informative reflective medium-paced
This was recommended to me by my counsellor. I'm glad she did because I'm not sure it would be something I would have naturally picked up myself otherwise, predominently because of the conversation style of writing. I gained a lot from reading this; a greater insight into myself, a much better understanding of trauma-work and healing, and an increased compassion for others. This is another non-fiction gem I would not hesitate to recommend to literally everyone. The book covers pioneering neuroscience and clinical psychology research into trauma, but is presented in an extremely accessible way. There are 11 simple diagrams introduced along with new concepts as the conversation develops that you can always refer back to. This is a book you should definitely read in sequence and not rush. There are plenty of opportunities to sit and reflect upon your own life. The core message to to reframe the current question of 'what's wrong with you?', to 'what happened to you?'. After this, I am utterly convinced this is the kindest, most evidence based approach to all humans.

Below I've included my top-level notes and messages I gained from the book. This is certainly an area that I am interested in reading more about. An dindeed, they provided a suggested reading list at the end of the book after the epilogue.

Raw notes:
  • Regulation = balance, love, care 
  • Love = action (physical touch, being present, engaging)
  • Trauma = EEE (event, experience, effects) trauma is always individualised
  • Stress is natural and not inherently bad. The important bit is timing, pattern, and intensity
  • ACE = Adverse Childhood Experiences
  • Relational health = connectedness to others ( this has the power to counterbalance adversity)
  • Therapeutic dosing = small individual 'moments' , with people being fully present, only seconds long
  • Transgenerational transmission is an encompassing term (see figure)
  • Sequence of (neurological state) engagement = regulate, relate, reason (this is crucial)
  • The uses of dissociation - a personal insight, perhaps this could explain my fainting at the sight of blood?
  • The chapters on healing, post-traumatic wisdom, and relational hunger hit very close to home for me - the neglect description and lonliness descriptions were accurate in all respects.
  • The chapter on systems and the degradation of society and what we can learn from Indigenous people fits into my other reading on understanding the climate crisis and capitalism.
  • The power of 'Intention'
  • "We feel better with the certainty of misery rather than the misery of uncertainty" [Bruce Perry] - people are attracted to the familiar
  • Malleable, not 'resilient'. redefinition of the word resilient
  • Four aspects to healing:  rhythm, community, talking therapy, and pharmaceutical therapy
  • Relationships and community are essential for regulation and healing
  • Relational health = connectedness
  • Trauma informed care (TIC) - important discussion on defintion, see 'Neurosequential Model'
  • Question: How do we create opportunities for healing within our systems?
  • Neurosequential Model - the latest and best developed model for trauma informed care in education
  • Learnings from  Indigenous people - 'wholeness' way of thinking, world view - fragmentation and disconnection is at the heart of all trauma. Pain is shared.
  • Advocation of 'Techno-Hygiene'
  • Awareness + connectedness = transformation