TW/CW: physical abuse, emotional/verbal abuse, sexual assault/rape, violence

***Full of Spoilers***

I'm reviewing this after reading it a second time. I didn't love it the first time, but I wanted to get the details onto this review, so I read it again.

This is also possibly the longest review I will ever do.

Premise was good: hs sweethearts, military badass, badass ATF heroine. Sounds promising

The beginning has our young h, Belle and our H Bobby together the night before he leaves for basic training. The have sex. This is after he asks her how she's feeling and she replies that the antibiotics the doctor gave for her strep throat her has helped and she's fine now (so, we all know where this is going, right?)

Bobby is the golden boy, with parents everyone sees as great and Belle is the daughter of the town drunk. She lives in a trailer park (because, of course she does. Why is it that authors always equate trailer parks to alcoholic and abusive parents?). Here was the first character strike for me: Bobby's parents are supposed to love Belle so much, yet they know she is being physically abused and they think that giving her a meal when she's hungry is somehow sufficient? Bobby knows that the girl he loves is going through this, so he up and joins the Army? He promises her that he will be back for her, but come on. We're supposed to see how bad Belle's life is, and already I hate Bobby and his family because they are clearly failing her.

While Bobby is away, Belle takes a helluva beating from her dad. She hits him over the head and knocks him out, and being afraid of him, she runs to Bobby's family to ask to stay with them. Bobby's mom gives her a letter. So, in just a few weeks, Bobby has decided he needs to break up with Belle. Belle is crushed. Here's where once again, B0bby's parents suck. It's mentioned later that Bobby's mom saw Belle's bruise on the side of her face, but she gives her the heartbreaking letter and then just watches Belle leave? Again, knowing that Belle has been abused?

I know I'm going way into details of the beginning, but this shit bothered me so much.

Forward fifteen years later, Bobby and Belle are brought back together by a case they are both working on. Bobby is special ops in some sort of off-the-books government agency and Belle is an ATF agent. Bobby immediately wants another shot with Belle. We hear how he regretted sending the letter only a few weeks after sending it, but by then Belle had skipped their small, Georgia town. He had his parents look for her and even hired PIs, but he never found her. Belle, meanwhile had settled into a life in Texas.

At first I rooted for these two. Yes, Belle had a big secret (remember that antibiotic?) in the way of her fourteen year old son, Seth. She was guilty that she had kept Seth from Bobby, but at least I could see her reasons, however misguided they were. Bobby had promised her, the girl who always felt like she wasn't good enough, that he would come back and marry her. Then he dumps her, pretty much proving to her that she was right. That she wasn't good enough for him. There's also the fact that Belle was afraid of her dad finding her. So, yeah, Belle had made mistakes. But Belle wasn't the worst.

Bobby was the worst. From the beginning he pretty much manipulated her into giving him another chance. She realizes that she can't, because he will hate her when he finds out about Seth. And she was right. This is where Bobby went off of the rails. Sure, get mad, dude. She had a kid and didn't tell you. But instead of even trying to see why she did what she did, he yells and screams at her. He calls her a bitch, in front of their son. He says he regrets ever meeting her and at one point he's so angry that he looks violent, and she flinches. Bobby not only says these awful things to her, but his inner monologue is him saying how he never wanted to hit a woman before, but now he wants to wrap his hands around her neck and keep squeezing. Like, what the actual fuck? This is not okay. Oh, and when Belle flinches? Bobby just keeps going. He doesn't care that he is being an abusive fuck, taking his anger out on anyone wouldn't be okay. But Belle is an abuse survivor. And he just doesn't fucking care.

Still he decides to try and win his family back. He basically uses Belle for sex. The only time they had sex before he found out about Seth, Bobby didn't want to use a condom. He was "I don't want anything between us ever again". After the secret comes out, they have sex and he starts using condoms. Belle realizes it's because he doesn't trust her, but she doesn't stand up for herself. She doesn't think he will ever forgive her, but when he tells her that she owes it to him to try and make it work, she agrees. Again, what the fuck? He shames her into a relationship, has incredibly angry, unemotional sex with her and keeps on hating her, yet she keeps coming back for more. He also just immediately thinks the worst of her whenever anything happens. Seth doesn't know if he wants to get to know Bobby? Bobby immediately thinks Belle bad mouthed him to their son. Belle doesn't talk much about what she did during their years apart? Bobby assumes she'd been abandoning their son so that she could go screw a bunch of men. (Also, can I say, her kid was taken care of, so who cares if she was screwing every guy she met. Bobby was not exactly celibate)

Shit happens, with their case. Belle is hurt, badly. She's in the hospital. Bobby pours his heart out to her. He wants her to be his future, he's always loved her, etc. But the minute she asks him if he's forgiven her? No. He tells his incredibly injured, hospitalized, stitches and staples in her body, mother of his child, no, he doesn't forgive her.

Seriously, dude is a prick. Luckly, he's overheard by a friend of Belle's and tossed the fuck out of there. We later find out he didn't even tell Seth goodbye. He just went back to Virginia and called Seth and apologized. So, he's a horrible boyfriend and a horrible dad. Awesome (/s)

The man who pulled Bobby from Belle's room was Belle's on-again, off-again friend with benefits, Charlie. They always remained friends and he was close to Seth. I love that Belle wasn't celibate the entire time she and Bobby were apart. That is one thing this book had going for it (it's implied that Belle had been with a few other men, but Charlie is the one she got close to and became friends with). I loved Charlie. Belle should have chosen him. He was one of the few saving graces of this book.

I also liked Seth. He stood up to Bobby when Bobby yelled at Belle in front of him. And Belle's friend, Tegan, was great. It was refreshing to see a friend who stood up for her friend, and not side with the long lost love. So many times the friend in the book pushes the couple together. Tegan saw what Bobby put Belle through and she wasn't having it. Even at the end, Tegan was still not fully on board. I felt that was much more realistic in the way a best friend would actually have your back.

I think I would have liked this book much better if Charlie had been our hero, and Bobby was the douchebag ex who came back, wrecking Belle's life, while also getting Belle to see that the perfect guy had been in front of her all along. Bobby was one hundred percent the douchebag ex. And who wants to see our heroine end up with that?