Oh fantasy romance. The ultimate ‘box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get’ genre. Basically, this (much beloved!!) book didn’t have what I’m personally looking for in a delicious chocolate (but if it had what you’re looking for, I see why you’d love it).

Let’s get into it—

The plot was magical Pokémon cards, a gotta catch ‘em all situation, with a hint of fake dating. Setting: cloaks and castles.

But, here’s how it didn’t bring what I was looking for… FOR ME 😅

👉 I want a fantasy romance to hurt my brain a little bit. I want lore, tons characters, and to have no clue what’s happening. But,
• we eased very slowly into the story
• not a ton of characters, not a ton of drama, and a heist-y plot that was fairly straightforward
• the one piece of lore we got was also the big reveal, so it came pre-spoiled

👉 I want to feel transported into another world. But,
• the name salad 😭 Names are my favourite fantasy culture and language vector (the book may be English, but I want to hear what their fantasy language sounds like). Sure, we had wood names (a bit on the nose, especially when “trees!” was a curse word and we got dialogue like “Trees, Elm Rowan!” 🥴). But everyone else’s name was a drunken Pin The Tail On The Donkey, Europe-edition. The names were Greek, Slavic, Germanic, Celtic, British… the Dutch name was misgendered, which felt weird as I live in 🇳🇱 It didn’t make the book feel European, it just made it feel American
• the scene setting was so flat and un-detailed that I kept forgetting what room we were even in

👉 I want the romance plot to squeeze my heart to bits—lots of on-page falling and the angst/drama that only a fantasy world can bring. But,
• instalust, no on-page falling, sudden compliments, and vague “aches” does not a romance plot make, for me
• minus 100 points for a spice scene so abrupt it was a jump scare