Wow! I was not expecting the emotional toll this book would take. I went into this book mostly blinded by the awesome cover. I’m actually a little shocked this is a debut. I looked her up because I wanted to see what else she had out there that I could get my hands on!

This is the type of book that you have to read in the right mood. I’m saying this because it’s heavy. There’s such a toxic relationship but also a lot of really heavy topics. There’s a lot of mental health in this book, which I appreciate. I will always love books that shine a light on mental health, as a psychology major. It’s just so important.

Adelaide has not had an easy life. In fact, her mother and sisters all suffer from some form of mental illness. Her one sister has bipolar disorder that really took a lot out of the whole family. It’s never easy but she always made herself shrink into herself or the background to stay out of the way. This is where her problems start. When they say that your childhood is essential to your mental health in adulthood, they are not lying.

She’s also got several instances where she’s just been abused or taken advantage of. She’s struggling to find herself and then starts to just act the completely opposite. Instead of being afraid of men, she starts to chase after them. Regardless, she doesn’t think much of herself and that’s a problem when she meets Rory. I will say now, this isn’t really a love story. Their relationship is so toxic and hard to read about. This book gets really raw and pushes your comfort zone. Yet, I could not put this down. I started it and finished it the next day.

The mental health aspect is one that’s really explored, in many ways. She really doesn’t shy away from it and shines a light on it. There are some things I was not expecting but now make so much sense. I do wish that we would have spent a little less time with Rory and more time on her journey afterwards.

Overall, I loved what this book offered. It was addicting but hard to read at the same time. If you struggle with any of the things I’ve mentioned before, this might not be for you. This is not a love story or romance in any way. There’s some really controversial statements, as well. I might be a bit biased based on my psychology degree but I think it was a really emotional and inspiring story about Adelaide’s journey. I do think it could be a very polarizing book.

Many thanks to St. Martin’s Press and Netgalley for an e-arc. All thoughts and opinions are my own.