| Book Review | Stay With Me.
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"Before you call the snail a weakling, tie your house to your back and carry it around for a week". - Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀
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I chose this book at the airport on a whim and ended up reading it within the next two days. I couldn't put it down even when the words were cutting into me. I have always been equally fascinated and appalled by African culture. The restraints that women were subjugated to back in the 60s and 70s were outrageous. They were open about polygamy but it applied only to men. It was almost always a woman's fault for not being able to conceive because a man was flawless. Stay With Me brings forth the dark side of a marriage in which the wife goes through one trial after the other.
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Yejide and Akin experience love at first sight and before they know, they end up getting married. Four years into their marriage, the mothers start pushing them to bring children into the world but nothing works in their favour. Yejide prays and visits many holy men to seek answers but finds no change in her body. You must understand that this story is set at a time when men were allowed to marry multiple times while women were supposed to compromise. Due to unbearable pressure and threats, Akin marries a second time to please his mother. Yejide reels in shock but decides to get pregnant before the new wife can. She develops a mental disorder which leads her to think she's pregnant while she actually wasn't. Their relationship cracks under the weight of intense scrutiny.
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Akin comes up with a solution to see his wife pregnant but it does irreparable damage to their already lousy marriage. Stay With Me is not mere fiction but speaks about real customs carried out by Africans. It stresses on mental health and what happens when traditions are pushed to extremity. This book might not be liked by everyone but it's a brilliant one for addressing such a delicate topic. I would highly recommend it.
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Rating - 4.5/5