I received an advance review copy through Netgalley; all opinions are my own and honest.

3.5 stars.

"Just because you didn't choose to pass doesn't mean you don't have a choice, Nevaeh."

The messages in this book are powerful; I have so much respect for the courage it takes to not only write about such personal experiences, but to put them out into the world.

I really enjoyed the premise, catching Nevaeh in a pivotal period of her life. And I really, really wanted to sympathize with her, because she finds herself in some pretty tough circumstances. Being a teenager — trying to figure out how to be a good friend and family member and person; figuring out what you want to do in life and where you fit into the world; etc. — is hard enough without the social/societal isolation and privilege-based guilt Nevaeh struggles with.

But for the vast majority of the book, she's incredibly judgmental of other people and focuses on how their problems/wants inconvenience her (including

Spoiler

her mom's inability to leave the house while depressed, her best friend Stevie's dream of winning a dance scholarship, and a lot of internalized misogyny towards other girls and women: her dad's girlfriend, her classmates, innocent bystanders at the hair salon

); she actively and repeatedly chooses to do things that are inconsiderate and/or selfish.

This is a narrative about personal growth, so this depiction is understandable and definitely believable, but it was so frustrating to read.

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I'm still on the fence about whether her final grand gesture makes up for it, though it's a clear step in the right direction.

I also wasn't really a fan of Nevaeh's writing. (The preface calls it poetry, but I don't know if it's intended to be; if it is, it's a very free-verse style without rhyme schemes or, as far as I could tell, any kind of meter.) I appreciate these passages' contribution to the themes of identity and of speaking out, but to be quite honest I skimmed them. Same with

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the excerpts from her mom's journal, which felt awkward since they were written in exactly the same style as the rest of the narrative

.

All that said, the #ownvoices rep and social themes of this book come through clearly, and there are some wonderful bonding moments (particularly between

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Nevaeh & her cousins, and Nevaeh & Rabbi Sarah

). Nevaeh's personal journey is profound — and I don't think anyone could come away from this book without learning a thing or two.

content warnings:

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racism, on-page violence (security guard brutality), depressed parent, mention of (past) rape/sexual coercion, slut-shaming

rep:

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biracial (Jamaican & Liberian/Jewish) "white-passing" MC & her family, biracial (Chinese/white) best friend, Latinx (Dominican Republic) love interest, Jewish WLW secondary character