“I am good, but not good enough, which is worse than simply being bad. It is almost. The difference between being there when it happens and stepping out just in time to see it on the news.”

This book struck a chord in me, in ways I wasn’t expected. Luster is about loneliness, about wanting to make your mark on the world but not really knowing how. All the characters are complex, imperfect, and prime to be disliked. But in seeing all their flaws and learning what made them, you grow to appreciate them for their realism.

Edie’s relationship with Eric is how she becomes entangled with Rebecca—his wife—and Akila—their adoptive daughter. But it is really Edie’s relationship with this woman and girl that I found more powerful and transformative than her relationship with Eric. Through these women, you see Edie’s own uncertainties, and perhaps a reflection of who she could have been and who she could become.

The theme of Edie’s art throughout was also an interesting way to explore her own personal growth. She uses her painting as a way to learn about herself, to figure out how to make her lasting impression on the world.

Leilani artfully weaves together all the things that a 20-something Black girl might be anxious about: her weight, her looks, whether this man likes her, how she will support herself, how racism will affect her, what her future is going to be like. Her writing is gorgeous and I found myself highlighting phrase after phrase as I read. This is a quiet book, packed with lots of emotions and Edie’s internal dialogue. It is definitely one to pick up.

Thanks to FSG for the advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

TW: suicide ideation; miscarriage; racism; police brutality; abusive relationship