oh😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 this was............ oh😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 this was lowkey boy parts if it was about flo and eliza's relationship but way more insane (can you believe??) and they were annoying budding dude intellectuals instead of late twenties british art girlies who are fucked up and a little less manipulative but not a lot less. gay people are just😭😭😭😭😭 anyway guys this book was so me🤪🤪🤪🤪 at times this book felt a bit to long and sometimes a bit confusing however j feel like I really understand Julian and Paul (well paul at least!!) and a lot of the lines in this book really resonated with me. the relationship between the two guys is so so fucked you won't believe lmao but also so believable! you understand why these two latch onto each other and how they each fuck the other person up so so much😭😭 and you know what, I'll say it! this is better than the secret history!!!! (imo pls don't crucify me😭😭 I just thought the secret history was way too long and a bit boring also). I listened to the audiobook however I think this book would be better received if you read it physically, I know that I want to buy a physical copy (even though the cover is 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢) and just tab the shit out of it!!! if you're interested in dark academia and/or you wanna read about the most insane codependent toxic gay relationship that lowkey slays (literally!) I would recommend this! 4.25 stars