[mystery of love by sufjan stevens plays in the background]
i'm not sure what to rate this story. it was wonderful to read, and i felt that, if it were under different circumstances, and if aspects of the book were different, i would probably give it 5 stars.

but, thinking about the parts of the book that made me rethink how i felt about the situation, and the prose, and the wonderful atmosphere, i have nothing to say. it makes me feel as though i shouldn't be looking in; the stream of consciousness that elio expresses his story makes it personal, then i remembered that this is surrounding the sexual escapades of a 17-year-old in rural italy with a man much older than him, and i in no way find it beautiful or intriguing.

i don't know.

i might just stick to the movie because at least that has timothee chalamet and armie hammer.