It feels weird rating a memoir, like I'm rating Shaun David Hutchinson's life, which I'm trying very hard not to do. At the end of the day, though, I found the beginning far more compelling, both because it was less heavy and because it was more controlled. Objectively, this is not a bad book nor a bad memoir, but somewhere along the way, it became harder and harder to read. I don't want to diminish his experiences, but much of the time I felt like there was a gap in his development. We saw him with extreme internalized homophobia, but then suddenly able to call himself gay so easily and come out, and sure, that's his experience, but I felt like I was missing part of the story.

But maybe I was just trying to impress my own experiences onto someone else.

Regardless, his story is powerful and necessary and important; it just didn't read too well for me.

I would like to highlight the massive trigger warnings for self-harm and a suicide attempt (but Hutchinson also does a wonderful job of pinpointing exactly where to avoid if necessary).