Bryce, Beatriz, and Santiago were the best of friends growing up. But when Santiago moved away, their friendship sort of just fell apart. Now, three years later, Bryce is gone and Santiago is moving back into town. But Beatriz doesn’t want anything to do with him. Instead, she chooses to deal with Bryce’s death by suicide all on her own.

Eventually drawn together by circumstances and their own history, Beatriz and Santiago realize that maybe they need each other to move forward. Together, they navigate grief, mental illness, what it means to forgive, and the possibility of eventually moving on. 
 

Thanks to NetGalley and Feiwel & Friends for an advanced copy of This Is Me Trying by Racquel Marie to review! This book is definitely an emotional read, diving deep into grief and mental illness. The characters are the star in this, as the plot is much quieter. This allows the reader to focus on the emotions and the experiences of Beatriz and Santiago.

Marie does some really excellent character work overall in this book, and not just with our leads. We get glimpses into what Bryce was like when he was alive, and how much Beatriz struggled to help him. Bryce’s siblings also play a major role in Beatriz and Santiago’s lives, all dealing with grief in their own ways. The variety of characters shows readers that there is no one specific way to grieve. Especially when intertwined with mental illness.

Despite the underlying tones of sadness and despair, there’s also an element of hope. Santiago and Beatriz both feel guilty for Bryce’s death for different reasons. And it’s through them reconnecting they’re finally able to start to work through those complex emotions. Leaving the reader hopeful for the future.

All in all, this is a beautifully done look at mental illness and grief and the way that those can intertwine. You might have to be in the right mindset to read it, but it is well worth it.