Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC! 

Nina St. Pierre's “Love is a Burning Thing” is a captivating memoir that ignites on multiple levels. It's a poignant exploration of a daughter seeking to understand the enigmatic and troubled life of her mother, a woman who twice set herself ablaze in acts of self-immolation. St. Pierre transcends the boundaries of a traditional memoir, weaving her personal narrative with a sharp decolonial and class-conscious critique of New Age movements and California history.

This book resonated deeply with me, and I suspect it will with other eldest daughters of mothers battling mental illness. St. Pierre navigates the complexities of parentification and enmeshment, portraying her mother not as a caricature of good or evil, but as a deeply flawed human being. This nuanced portrayal avoids demonization and pathologization, instead seeking empathy, a quality often reserved for "likable" victims. As St. Pierre states, "We need victims to be likable. To receive compassion, we need hurt women to remain docile and needy." By refusing to paint her mother by a single brushstroke, St. Pierre offers a refreshingly honest and pro-survivor perspective.

“Love is a Burning Thing” doesn't shy away from the darker aspects of St. Pierre's upbringing. Her mother's mental illness often translated into housing instability, a layer that underscores the book's subtle anticapitalist message. St. Pierre delves into the history and meaning of self-immolation, questioning the generational patterns often associated with trauma. The exploration is courageous and insightful, ultimately leading St. Pierre to ask a profound question: are daughters destined to repeat the mistakes of their mothers?

St. Pierre's prose is both evocative and elegant, carrying the reader through her introspective journey. Her reflections are insightful and timely, offering validation and empowerment for those who have grappled with similar experiences. The book is particularly compelling for those raised by a mentally ill parent, offering a sense of solidarity and shared understanding. St. Pierre's refusal to individualize blame within her narrative is particularly powerful. She skillfully locates the roots of her dysfunctional childhood within the societal and cultural systems that shaped her mother.

“Love is a Burning Thing” is a powerful testament to the resilience of the traumatized and mentally ill. St. Pierre's journey of self-discovery is one of courage, compassion, and ultimately, liberation. This book is a must-read for anyone who has ever questioned their place in the world, particularly eldest daughters of mentally ill mothers, and anyone interested in the complexities of family dynamics and the allure (and pitfalls) of New Age spirituality. Thank you, Nina, for this fiery book - I can’t wait for the next one.

📖 Recommended For: Readers of introspective and honest memoirs, Those interested in exploring New Age movements and mental illness, Enthusiasts of dysfunctional family representation, Fans of Tara Westover's “Educated” and Chelsea Bieker’s “Godshot.”

🔑 Key Themes: Intergenerational Trauma and Healing, Deconstructing New Age Mysticism, Eldest Daughter Syndrome, Ending the Cycle, Empathy Over Pathologization.