This book is not really about a beach, nor is it really a beach read, not is it about a beach read. The characters live near a beach they don't really go to, and they write. Their reading habits aren't particularly central to the story. Somewhere Near a Beach Write. There. Fixed it.

Anyway, the title isn't the only thing misleading about this book. There are so many things going on, from January's mom's cancer to her dad's affair, to Gus's lousy childhood and his failed love life, to a genre swap challenge, to a local book club and a local death cult. And amidst all of this, we mostly just get the main characters being sarcastic at each other to the point where it feels like they have nothing in common and their relationship is held together by negging. January is constantly having meltdowns over absolutely nothing and it is a chore to be inside her head. I don't even know what I'd tell people this book is about.

The one thing I'll say in its favor is that the ending of Gus's book is brilliant.