It’s very much out of the ordinary for me to read a story with a heavy focus on smut if it isn’t fanfiction (which has the bonus of already kind of knowing what to expect from the characters personalities). So while I knew what I was getting into, I knew it on a cognitive level, not an experience based one. All in all I had fun with this book, but my feelings are a little mixed. 

I liked the chemistry between Avi and Kyran. There is undeniable fun in a well done “I hate you, but actually I kinda really don’t” dynamic. That being said I would’ve liked there to be a bit more relationship development aside from the OnlyFans storyline. I get that their relationship and feelings for each other developed through their sexual encounters and I think the author did that well in a lot of cases. Still, we know things about Avi like him believing in aliens or wanting to become a professional artist, yet we never see a conversation about any of it within the book. Not with Kyran, not even with his friends. I would’ve loved to see a scene where Kyran teases him about being excited about UFO sighting stories or something. Anything that builds bonds aside from filming content and working towards/through Kyran’s inner coming out. The closest it got if I remember correctly is when Avi gets invested in the success of the Football team. (I also realized reading this that I have no clue how American Football works? Why isn’t everyone on the field at all times?? The scenes were exciting, one could tell the author knows what it means to be invested in this game, but I was lost as to what anything aside from “touchdown” even meant. I’m just a simple European girly, okay? I only know how non-american football works, I’m sorry.) Still, I liked to witness their journey, even if it got a little too cheesy for me in some parts. Maybe it wouldn't have felt so cheesy if we got said relationship development outside of sexual encounters. Maybe then calling someone "Angel" without proper build-up (in my opinion) would've felt a little more believable (but I got personal beef with that nickname anyway so who knows).

To me it felt like we got to explore Kyran and his character deeper than Avi, which was sad. Not that he didn’t tell the reader anything about himself or didn’t have struggles, but they got less room and proper development than Kyran’s, I think. That was a little sad, since Avi is pretty cool and fun to read about. (And I think I would love his taste in music if I knew it more specifically than the two songs that were mentioned. But speaking of music: I really like the included playlist, it was one of the things that convinced me I might like this book :D)

The third act drama was a little unnecessary in the way it played out.

Specifically Kyran not telling Avi beforehand why he was leaving so Avi would at least not be so fucking worried for weeks.

After reading this I can say that I’m happy I did, it was fun and surprisingly fast to read. Part of my struggle with this book might honestly be because I’m not really cut out for reading a whole length book with a heavy focus on smut. It felt like that was the major lens we see their relationship through for all of the 544 pages. I’m not saying it wasn’t fun, but I guess I need a little more to hold onto to really get deeply invested.