This was almost hilarious to the point of enjoyment, but I don't think that's what Lansky was going for here. If you've ever seen those memes about Guy in Your MFA, I feel like you've got a pretty good idea of what it was like to read this book. I've never heard anyone complain quite so much about being an upper middle class white guy. (He was gay, but don't worry, male nipples can also be described in strange ways- "his mauve nipples were buoyant on the sea of his suntanned chest")

What really irritated me in this book was his tone and how little it seemed like he'd changed from the immature 17 year old he was when he started the book. It was full of these shallow, patronizing reflections that I think we were meant to take as deep soul searching. They felt more fake than anything else to me, and more in the category of narcissistic and manipulative like he'd described himself as a teen.

This was sort of encouraged by the way he would always talk about how much he stood out. He was always the most or the worst at everything he did, no matter where he was or who he was with. No one at rehab had been through what he had, no one's spirals were as bad as his, he alone knew suffering. It was eye roll inducing, and it wasn't just his thoughts from the time. It popped up in his current narration as well. It seemed like the only real difference is that now he's sober. Which I mean, good for him, but it doesn't inherently make this book worthwhile.

The most disappointing thing was there were moments when I really got into this, moments where he actually seemed marginally self aware. It was usually when he wasn't trying to throw in any kind of reflection and was just relating his thoughts at the time, but it sometimes seemed like he had interesting things to say. But unfortunately, those were few and far between. Most of the time was spent discussing how bitter he was as a teen that his father didn't want to pay for his private university after prep school and three stints in rehab, and now adult him recognizing that maybe his father is right. It didn't feel like deep introspection to me so much as admitting some basic facts. That's about as shallow as reflection can go.

I read this all in about one sitting because a lot of it was so bad it was entertaining, but it's not one I'd recommend. Bravo to Lansky for getting and staying clean, but I'd suggest passing on reading a book about a teenager who cuts his Adderall with a gold razor to be edgy.