This is the first time - ok, no, second time cause it happened once in 2018 - that I finished a book that is not a novella or graphic novel in one day. I'm normally not capable. I am both a slow reader and easily distracted. And sure there are books where I read like 80% in one day, but it still feels different than finishing a book with almost 400 pages in one day.

I say this often about books, it was a very easy book to read. The writing was comfortable to read - if you get what I mean? Sure there were a few words here and there I looked up because English isn't my first language, but there were no unnecessary difficult words used. It was... light? Not the story, but the writing. I don't know how else to describe it other than comfortable. 

The pages literally flew by. The chapters were a perfect length, not too short and definitely not too long. The story kept being interesting, no boring parts. And I absolutely loved the interviews, articles and other things added in between. 

It really made me think, too.

The story, a gay member of a boyband, immediately spoke to me. I have to admit, 12 year old me, before realizing how creepy it is to read and write fanfics about real people, read and wrote a few- well, not a few, more than a few- fanfics about 5 Seconds of Summer. And while I now know that it's actually very creepy and kinda disrespectful to read and write about real people's lives, I do miss the vibes. The music and band members - not 5SOS specifically, but the type of stories. The amazingly written stories about backstage drama and being in the public eye. 

So yeah, it felt amazing to be in a similar world again. I guess I just love stories about FICTIONAL celebrities.

But this was still so much different. How it focused about all the downsides, the way some celebs have to change for the public. Dress differently, fake date. It made me wonder how much of celebrities I like is real, if they're comfortable, happy. If they experience just as much pressure to be someone they're not. 

I felt the story was very real. I'm no celebrity, maybe it isn't realistic. But it still felt real and honest. And I'm definitely no longer blind to the fact that celebrities have managers and pr people who come up with ideas like things that happen in this book.

Now, I sounds very positive right? Then why did I give a 4.5 star rating, with 4 officially on Goodreads?

Spoilers ahead!

The romance. I didn't trust Kaivan because of the way the story was written. I probably read too many cliche books where the same kind of story happens. 

Slow burn/crush for awhile -> start dating -> having a great time -> the usual drama near the end -> they get back together -> happy ending.

So Kaivan and Hunter getting together so quickly? I didn't trust it. Especially with the interviews in between where Kaivan says shitty things about Kiss & Tell. And sometimes he just acted..m a bit shady. Being different around camerasnand stuff. So I was expecting that in the end it was all fake and he was using Hunter for fame and publicity. 

And because of that, I couldn't enjoy the romance. Because I just had this gut feeling, 'the author is going to break our hearts'. But this wasn't the case.

Maybe I'll need to reread this at some point, knowing it is all real. Maybe then I can enjoy the romance, giving Kaivan a real chance. Because in the end, he is actually a great guy. And if I had know, I probably would've really liked him.

I really expected Hunter to end up single, kinda hoped it.

And then also, the ending felt kinda underwhelming. I can't really explain it, I was just a little disappointed. It felt like the actual epilogue got deleted. It didn't feel like an ending.

Yet still, this is an absolute amazing book. Fantastic. I couldn't put it down. It was refreshing and unique and original and I loved it so much.