Solid 3.5 but rounding to 4

Safety warnings attached at end.

Wow this book has been totally different than anything I've read...ever. This is my first Scarlett Peckham and I will be trying her again for sure. I think she's a great writer. Explicit sex, language, borderline offensive in some parts, just the rawness of real life people – the wonderful parts, the loving parts, and sometimes the true ugliness we can show. This was not an easy read. It's not light and fluffy. It's heavy. It's emotional. It's filled with angst and heart break. Parts were wonderful. Parts were horrible. It's definitely a memorable story.

So many stories about the rake. Oh he's so handsome with his flirtations, his sexual conquests, his ability to walk away from those nights emotionally unscathed. But, there is another side to these stories sometimes. The woman that is ruined. The woman who has no options in life anymore except what she scrape by with from the generosity of others. The woman who people run to other side of the street to get away from, laugh at, yell slurs to, threaten...the woman who is utterly broken by the choice made by two people yet only she is held accountable. This story is about such a girl, Seraphina.

I loved and hated Sera. When she was honest about her feelings she was beautiful. Her memoirs broke my heart and were by far my favorite part of this story. So strong. Unflappable in the face of the cruelty of society. I cannot help but admire her. But her full recovery is far from complete. And while she is learning how to heal from all of her past hurts, she can be rather ugly. It's all completely understandable. I do not blame her for her choices even though I do not like them. But that's the draw of this story, its powerful realness. She's a radical, a woman's rights acitvist, fighting to give her sex the tiniest bit of freedom and rights. It definitely made me feel the inequality in this story. It made me fear living in this time as a woman. It brought life to those movements in a way I haven't read before.

Adam is the hero. Born a bastard, a widower with 2 children. He works with his in laws in an architect firm when his true passion is art. I liked Adam, but Sera's story so overshadowed him and their relationship, my feelings could only grow to lukewarm. I loved that he had truly loved his wife. So many books have to make something wrong with the previous spouse, like it always must be a once in a lifetime love and I just don't think that's true. While I prefer first love stories instead of second chance, I believe in loving multiple people and it was refreshing seeing someone recovering from that pain and moving forward. Enough time was spent on his feelings that it was acknowledged and gave him depth but it didn't overshadow Sera and Adam's relationship.

This book is probably a bit more just the story of Sera. Her life. Her choices. Her recovery. Her healing. The relationship of Adam and Sera to me got a bit lost in it all. Took the back seat of the plot of the book. And this might work for some people but it made me like the book a bit less than otherwise probably. There's a lot of sex in the book and it's NAUGHTY. The words...they are all used. So ye who offend easily begone. But the sex happened so fast to me and I kept waiting for more relationship, more friendship, more connection but it was soooo slow going. It made me care about the sex less. I also wish I had more time in Adam's head (from the book in general), or more feelings from the sex. Very explicit, mostly hot, but almost mechanical in some scenes. So all these things, couple with quite a few spots of boredom in the story (I felt like the non sex scenes with the hero and heroine were a very small part of the book) lead me to 3.5 stars.

I got this book from netgalley as an ARC. As always these feelings are completely my own opinions.

Safety warnings:

Spoiler

alcoholism, animal abuse, child bearing death, miscarriage