I almost DNF'd this at around 57% because this book was putting me in a bad headspace. I do think the ending was good, but I probably need a break from books like this for a bit.

Erica's chapters were hard for me to read. I don't have gender dysphoria, but I also don't have the healthiest relationship with my body image, and the negative way she talked about her body was uncomfortably relatable to me. She's also paranoid about everyone perceiving her to an extent that felt similar to the social anxiety I often feel, even if it's for completely different reasons. So, just what she was dealing with was a little too heavy for me, but then she also made so many decisions that I was like "GIRL NOO!!!" Do not give your personal number to your teenage student and then text with them regularly!! Do not

have an affair with your pregnant and engaged ex wife!!

. Do not bro around with awful dudes, and stop treating the women around you like they're going to fix all your problems without you having to be honest.

It's kind of amazing how much the author was able to twist the narrative around so that Erica wasn't much worse off when her mistakes came back to bite her. I did really like how the text transitioned from 3rd person to 1st person when she finally accepted that she had to come out, though.

I actually liked Abigail. She's definitely tempestuous and aggressive, but when she lashes out it makes sense and you can see that despite all her efforts to distract from it, she's quite softhearted and compassionate. The problem is all of these ADULTS putting pressure and expectations on a TEENAGE GIRL. I can more easily forgive her fellow teenagers for being a bit insensitive or presumptive, but most of the drama in her narrative comes from adults basically playing tug-of-war with her body because they all want something from her.

Most of the characters are flawed, but there's not a single man in the book I think who isn't portrayed as either absentmindedly cruel, physically abusive, stupid, or some combination of all three. It makes the setting feel quite bleak, like men are in control of everything and they can't be reasoned with. There are a lot of female characters who are portrayed much better, like Abigail's sister, the underdog politician, the woman leading the support group, Abigail's friend, and more. Erica and her ex-wife Constance were a lot harder to like, for me. I was never really able to sympathize with Constance or agree that she and Erica should be together.

I listened on audio and the narrators both did a great job, especially Abigail's. The jarring static sound when a character was deadnamed was impactful, I wonder how that was illustrated on the page.