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Over the course of time, I have read many books that infuriated me to no end. And when I chose this piece of biography, I mentally prepared myself to expect the worst but it somehow still managed to shock me. Set in Syria and Iran during the Islamic revolution(1979) this story is one's idea of a nightmare. Based on the life of the author's mother, this story is truly very disturbing. Dr Rafizadeh had a difficult childhood, often witnessing his mother being battered at the hands of his father. But what I couldn't understand was the detached manner in which he wrote this book.
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Amira was born into a poverty ridden family to a hateful mother and a neglectful father. At a time when girls were considered as a burden, Amira took over household chores and looked after her siblings from a very young age. In spite of her good grades, she was forced to quit school and was married to a man who was almost twenty years older than her. Her marriage was a disaster from the very beginning, as she often ended up being beaten. Soon, she moves back to her maternal home only to be treated as a servant where everyone considered her unlucky. Her second marriage, which starts off on a good note what with her husband appearing charming and kind turns out very similar to the first one. She finds herself at a loss of words when she realises that her husband is already married.
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Amira's character is one that oozes warmth and kindness yet all that she receives from the people around her is hostility. Her life in Syria grows difficult with every passing year as she bears the brunt of hatred from her husband and his first wife. With no support from her maternal family, she was often left all alone. While half of the book talks about his mother's hardships, it suddenly takes an abrupt turn and focuses more on his education. In addition to the personal incidents of his life, he has also shed light on the cultural and political situations of both Iran and Syria. As much as I would have loved to know more about the author's journey as a student and then as a working man, I couldn't help but feel disappointed by how the book deviated from staying true to its title.
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There's no doubt that this book is highly disconcerting in nature and I often felt enraged by the manner in which women were treated in the name of religion and scriptures. Rafizadeh often quotes verses from Quran and Hadith that men used to vent out their anger at women or to curb their sense of individuality. It's heartbreaking to see how men had (still have) a strong hold on their wives and daughters, leaving them deprived of a decent education and life in general. He even describes the disgusting and unbelievable manner in which young boys were raped in his father's village and how it was considered masculine for men to do so.
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Albeit the story was intense and well described, I couldn't help but feel dejected at how the book turned out to be. The title seemed mismatched and fell short of my expectations of being a female oriented book. If you're looking for an eye opener, the sort that puts in display the dirty laundry of many families and how thousands of women were and are still supressed even in mordern times, then pick this one up.
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Rating - 3.8/5.