I forgot how much this duology is a conversation about gender as performance and wow is it fascinating. I also think it manages to walk the extremely fine line that good historical fantasy does well (and historical fantasy does rarely) of portraying ambitious, determined, ruthless characters in a way that makes them deeply relatable without making their moral greyness the interesting part of their personality. None of these characters are interesting because they are morally grey, they are interesting because they are ruthless and fighting and constantly trying to figure out what to do about what they are losing. They are also, almost to a fault, nuanced evocations of the inside of someone's head when they are ravaged by loss.
I'm still not sure whether I think the end was perfect or deeply aggravating. Maybe both?